Posts tagged ‘heartache’

August 14, 2009

iljb#43: Wounds are still healing…

The last person I ended up “doing stuff” with kissed (that meant something) was J. I know I must have been some kind of blind fool to have been so on it when he was down, but honestly my intentions was pure and honest. However, one thing led to another and I ended up doing something that I wished I prevented. Didn’t help that I was drunk and he was lightweight buzzed. I did like him, but I didn’t want to get into something serious…just start talking.

But again, I was stupid…he just got out of something serious. How could I have competed with someone who spent their days with J? I had nothing on him – only that I knew how to treat another man right. But that was just it…I wanted to treat J right…but instead I stumbled and fell too quick. I was naive…I know, but after a month having passed, not hearing one word from him, and well leaving last “desperate” sounding text for attention…it does still get to me. Especially with what I ended up stumbling on.

Youtube is such a tease in that, you can see that person, but only see and hear what they have to say…not what you have to say. Anyway, I ended up watching Js youtube and it just struck me…made me question…Are you still with that guy?

Like I said, my wounds are still healing and even though nothing was officially serious…I did open up to him when in the very beginning when we started to talk…I rejected him. HA. How the world turns. I swear.

I’m okay, I am. It just reminded me of him is all. But I will say this, I bought the song that he described to me…everytime I hear it…I think about his past…sigh.

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I’ll blog about it tomorrow, but I came home realizing that I do have a lot of obligations to attend to…some good…some bad…