Posts tagged ‘future’

July 27, 2009

iljb#40: Feeling happy? OKAY!

Its my day off and I feel so productive. I started off the day being groggy and lazy, but after an hour or 2 I started to get stuff done. However, the BIG task ahead are still left unfinished, but the small distractions have definitely helped my momentum in getting my list done. I’ve vlogged about creating a “list” everyday of what you want to get accomplished and truth be told, it has been a success. I feel so accomplished knowing that what I wanted to get done that day is being checked off slowly but surely.

Hooray for  lists! =]

I’m actually very proud of myself because organizing my side of the room has made me feel a lot better about where I sleep and how things are organized. MAN, can I just say Maxwell is such a good ear candy right now while I blog on this gloomy Monday. No really – AH! Anyway, I look at my room right now and I feel so good about it. I am such a neat freak LOL. Everything is so organized and so neat – it makes me want to take a picture of it. POSSIBLY, we’ll see lol, but I feel so refreshed. *BREATHE* ahhhhhh it feels good. =]

I’ve had my humps these past few days, but I think overall I’m going head strong in being positive. I feel the strength in me to be that change I want to see. I feel so good about the future and my dreams. Its scary to think in a few months I will be a FULL FLEDGE senior ready to graduate. You know what that means right? All these deadlines to keep with with, tests, midterms, and finals to ACE. But no doubt, I am ready for the challenge. The challenge is coming, but right now I’m just taking my time in relaxing. I have these couple of days off this week that I will take advantage of! SUPER excited =]. Side note – I don’t think I got that job for Patelco, but I think its okay…as long as I have a job I’m fine. Jamba is pretty chill with my schedule so I’m not trippin as much. I’m SO EXCITED. ugh I sound like a broken record lol.

I must admit, these past weeks have been really good for me in that I haven’t put guys as my main priority. Its not even on the list in fact – which is nice. I’m really focused and really motivated for this school year that I know having a relationship will fuck things up. I gotta be selfish now, this is the time, no time for mistakes, just improvements! I CAN, I will, I believe! But I have been thinking how great it would be if there was a guy on my level who would sweep me off with their charm…but thats just farfetched right now. I can’t let a guy hold me down – no matter how cute they might be! lol fucking shit. NOT NOW, not right now.

Did I mention I signed up for “saynow.com”. I’m feeling it! I like it. ITS COOL! =] All I’m going to say.

I’m surprised this is blog 40! WOW haha =] thats awesome.

NOW – its story time ladies and gents.

“Friendship is never a battle, but a constant win!” – Joaquin

I’m not saying friendships are easy and I’m not saying friendship never have their arguments, but what I am saying is – through all that mess its always a win because you are always by that persons side through thick and thin! Additionally, its just a reminder that friendships are a treasure and if done right, it will feel like you’ve won the greatest prize of all – each other (lol). But real talk, my story goes way back – back into time.

You see, I was never part of the “in group”. I was never the “cool kid”, never was a part of a clique. I was the kid who always wanted to “fit in”. I always wanted to see where I would fit in. I tried many groups – different friendships in elementary school through high school, but I would always find myself questioning my friendships. I recall in middle school writing to a girl, “a popular girl”, asking her if she was my friend. The need for approval and the need to be wanted was something I craved for even on to my freshman/sophomore year in college.

I did things to prove I was cool. I dressed a certain way, said certain things, tried to fit in. But I knew deep down it wasn’t me. Its taken me a long, long time to understand the true meaning of knowing your worth. I don’t need to prove to anyone that I’m good enough to be your friend, if anything it comes naturally. However, through my years in school, I always stayed neutral when it came to cliques. I didn’t want to be classified as nerdy nor did I wanna be classified as popular, cause I was neither, I was just me. I was never part of a group of big friends because I kept those who really knew me close. However, even those who were close to me burned me…

Fast forward to college, I feel – no I know that the group of friends I do call close, have my back. The group of friends that I have are “popular” in my eyes. The group of friends I party, cry with, gossip, laugh with, experience the good and bad times are my ride or die! I have their back like they have mine and I don’t even question it for a minute. I don’t second guess if they love me, are my friends, or whatever – there are no insecurities when I call, talk, message MY friends. I feel comfortable being myself. Being GAY. Being ME! Being JOAQUIN! I didn’t actually need to prove to them my worth because they already saw that from the get. I was just to scared to believe that THESE PEOPLE (freshman year) were inviting me to hang out! These “cool people” are asking me to be their friend and part of their group!

Well, I’m part of that “cool group” since 2006! Five years later…I’m still partying, cry with, gossiping, laugh with, experiencing the good and bad times with my ride or die. I don’t need to search for the “cool group” because I am in one! Like Mary said,

“How are you so damn COOL if you have no one left who cares.”

Exactly, these friends of mine already know I’m cool, supper sickkkk with it! I’m fly, I’m amazing, I’m wonderful in their eyes! So what more could I ask for? Why do I need to search for other friendships? Yeah, I’m exclusive with these folks for a reason, because for the longest time I never felt I belonged anywhere…I never felt I was wanted or needed. Now (actually for a while now), for the first time in my life – I’m going to claim this as my group, my clique, my ride or die! No matter what goes down from here on, I got their backs like they got mine.

And the beautiful part of it is – they’re my family!

So who are you trying to impress? Why are you trying to fit into another group if you already belong? Mmmm or maybe all this time – you never did.

July 18, 2009

iljb#36: Moving Forward.

Relationships are definitely on pause for me starting today. I can’t take this baggage of having shit falter in the end after pouring my heart and soul out there. I guess its my fault that I do wear my heart on my sleeve, but I think its just because I am honest and up front with things. I just don’t understand how, “So are you sure you want to do this?” can be a confusing question for someone? I mean, its a simple yes or no, especially if you know that you just got out of a relationship. However, I trusted their judgement and well that judgement turned out to spit on my face. Again, I’m not in total shock, just because I knew something like this would happen considering the situation. POINT taken Joaquin, you should have known better. Finding “love” in all the wrong places, should have known better. I guess what I didn’t like was being treated like a rebound. I mean…I wish it was mutual, but it wasn’t. I was in it more than he was. I mean he did kiss me first…I was drunk…Oh man…it was all a mess I guess. SHRUG. I gotta shake it off, DAY9 and I’m doing better, much better. So in relation to REALationships…I guess the most important relationship now is me, myself, and I. I swear…I get caught up and side tracked that I lose focus on what I truly want in life: to be successful in my skills and make something out of it.

Which leads me to why I am so motivated to “do this year”. I have so much to look forward to and so much I want to accomplish.

A birthday week, saving up/trading in my tribute for a new car, paying off my credit, helping my sister w a grand or half a grand, paying all my bills, getting a NEW job, graduating.

FUCK – I mean thats just the beginning and finding a time to fit a man – BOY – in there is ridiculous. I can’t – I wont – I will not. I’ve been spending a lot of time with G-Up and man does it feel good to hang out with friends. Its a nice escape from reality. I recently just did a photo shoot and that made me feel happy =]. SIMPLE things like this have been making my summer worth it. Better late than never. I’m just realizing that,

IF YOU ARE NOT IN THE BANDWAGON, YOU HAVE ALREADY MISSED YOUR CHANCE

I’m slowly realizing this…I’m slowly accepting it and I’m okay with it. Just reinforcing my WORTH and knowing that its not me missing out – its you! I even mentioned to folks, WE LIVE EXCEPTIONAL LIVES, if folks don’t know our worth then give em a big FUCK YOU! We don’t need folks to bring us down.

I’m moving faster – moving forward – moving at a speed that is exciting, but frightening.

In a month, my whole life will change! 23! THATS A FUCKING number. 23! Most 23 year olds haven’t been through the shit I’ve been through, experienced the shit I’ve experienced…done what I’ve done. FUCK 23! Thats the fucking start of my journey.

BIG DREAMS?

I do have big dreams and right now its in the city of SAN FRANCISCO. Its not only now do I realize my potential and the real beauty that is San Francisco. I want to work in the city. I want to make a life in the city. For some, it doesn’t work. For me…I love it. Its true, I can’t possibly relocate to a new place when I have yet realized my full potential here. Besides, trips and vacations are gonna come around – so its not a big deal for me to move permanently, all I need is an escape.

I’ve been doing that actually. Escaping slowly…finding out that its okay to hang out with Jamba Juice coworkers (in fact I will be hanging out with some next week), going home to family just for a day to just hang out with mom and sis (feels so good), just doing my own thing and expressing my own thoughts on youtube and on wordpress. ITS SO THERAPEUTIC. As much as I complain, post really emo status’s, I am fine with life and I know that the journey right now is preparing me for something big.

GOD has something GREAT prepared for me. I know it. He’s been handling all of my troubles lately. However small or big, he’s been there holding my hand. I haven’t been to church in awhile, but it just goes to show that miracles still happen even if you aren’t practicing being a Catholic. I just have to say I have to give a lot of thanks to the Lord for giving me several opportunities these past weeks with jobs. Oh did I mention hes been hooking me up with extra cash!? lol And my mom has been able to give me 20 here and there. ❤ Life isn’t as bad when you’re struggling…it seems like I’m learning more than if I weren’t. I live for this struggle.

MOVING forward. THIS IS my anthem. THIS is what I sing. THIS is what I shall do.

I will make that change and listen to my own voice, like my horoscope said, I know myself better than anyone – I can handle it. I can handle IT!

MOVING FORWARD. DOING THIS FOR ME. I GOT A BRIGHT FUTURE AHEAD. I LIVE FOR THIS.

July 12, 2009

iljb#35: ilike QUOTES by me! :D

My PASSION is my DRIVE that will get me to my DESTINATION to my FUTURE. Believe in yourself and the world will come to you!

I care about my happiness so thats what I’m going to do tomorrow, take care of my happiness.

My future is unstoppable only if I believe it to be! I am a force to be reckoned with!

I live for my future, I live for my family and friends, I live to make change, I live this struggle because I can handle it.

You can escape only for so long. But you’ll end up having to face your reality.

I continue to wonder what I’ve left behind. But I’m not holding on to baggage thats not mine. All I know is the broken can be fixed.

I live the exceptional lifestyle, feels good.

People with integrity do what they say they are going to do. Others have excuses.

Life is possible when your dreams are alive and real.

Nothing is impossible, unless you make it.

Knowing you worth is half the battle.

I’d give you my advice, but its better if you took your own.

We all live by the rules of love, but we forget that there weren’t any rules to begin with.

You’re the music that keeps me on my feet.

They can talk all they want, but thats all they do – talk.

I can’t own your actions.

The journey is priceless.

If you’ve experienced the worst, expect to come out of it better than you were in it.

You’ve made me cry because you meant that much to me.

If it doesn’t work a third time, it will never work.

Its easy to move on because the situation seems all to familiar.

I look back and wonder what I could have done differently.

Money does make me happy.

October 19, 2008

Stories

Its amazing to read about something that places things that happens every day in perspective. The product of our lives is a reflection of the stories we make. Stories enhance a persons lives. We tell a story every day whether its about something that happened to us, explaining a lecture that a friend missed, or this blog that you are currently reading. These stories make up our lives and enhances our productivity. The book I’m reading for my DAI class entitled, A Whole New Mind by Daniel H. Pink is supposed to mold young designers like me to start thinking with both sides of the brain, rather than the one side that we’ve been socialized to think with. 

The chapter I currently read was a part of the six senses in which we need to help us engage in this Conceptual Age. Design, Story, Symphony, Empathy, Play, and Meaning. These, “will guide our lives and shape our world” (Pink, 67) as Pink states in his book. Clearly, I understand his analysis even more as I read the chapter about Story. 

In the chapter, he talks about how stories are as important as facts. He explains that a story is how we retain information and it is an easier way to remember a subject matter. Furthermore, he also shows a misconception that society has on stories vs facts by stating, “Stories amuse; facts illuminate. Stories divert; facts reveal. Stories are for cover; facts are for real.” However, the reality is that, “Stories are important cognitive events, for they encapsulate, into one compact package, information, knowledge, context, and emotion.”(Pink, 103).

In most work places, having someone read a manual is not the only method of teaching. Telling a story is an additional method that many jobs have encouraged to help their employees better grasps the information and purpose of their job. Take for instance at Jamba Juice, we are required to read a manual, but after training, our trainers and managers give significance to all the material by telling a story like, “Building block number four is important because we don’t want any of our customers to come into a store and feel like our story is dirty.” Stories like these give more significance to the job requirement. 

But more interestingly, the section that got me really interested was the fact that several companies have used “story” in their products. An example that Pink stated was how he was debating on three liquors to purchase, but he didn’t know which one to chose from. The third option was different from the other two in that on the label it told a brief history on company, Tattoo Red, and how they explained 50 cents from the sale they get go towards cancer research. So Pink purchased Tattoo Red. 

This is just one example of how story can help a produce profit or enhance the appeal to consumers. Another example I can think of is the Vitamin Water, which have brief stories on the label. Other brands such as Starbucks, Jamba Juice, and McDonalds follow the same trend of telling a story. Stories are not only used to help sell, but stories also help heal. In the chapter, Pink explains how story has become essential in the medical field to nurses/doctors in interacting with patients. 

Overall, “Stories represent a pathway to understanding that doesn’t run through the left side of the brain.” (Pink, 115) 

Think about it, its bogles my mind! haha =]

 

 

 

EW I’m a nerd! LMAO HAHAH this looks like a essay response hahaha but its just for my personal enjoyment…gross =] HAHAHAH