Posts tagged ‘career’

July 27, 2009

iljb#40: Feeling happy? OKAY!

Its my day off and I feel so productive. I started off the day being groggy and lazy, but after an hour or 2 I started to get stuff done. However, the BIG task ahead are still left unfinished, but the small distractions have definitely helped my momentum in getting my list done. I’ve vlogged about creating a “list” everyday of what you want to get accomplished and truth be told, it has been a success. I feel so accomplished knowing that what I wanted to get done that day is being checked off slowly but surely.

Hooray for  lists! =]

I’m actually very proud of myself because organizing my side of the room has made me feel a lot better about where I sleep and how things are organized. MAN, can I just say Maxwell is such a good ear candy right now while I blog on this gloomy Monday. No really – AH! Anyway, I look at my room right now and I feel so good about it. I am such a neat freak LOL. Everything is so organized and so neat – it makes me want to take a picture of it. POSSIBLY, we’ll see lol, but I feel so refreshed. *BREATHE* ahhhhhh it feels good. =]

I’ve had my humps these past few days, but I think overall I’m going head strong in being positive. I feel the strength in me to be that change I want to see. I feel so good about the future and my dreams. Its scary to think in a few months I will be a FULL FLEDGE senior ready to graduate. You know what that means right? All these deadlines to keep with with, tests, midterms, and finals to ACE. But no doubt, I am ready for the challenge. The challenge is coming, but right now I’m just taking my time in relaxing. I have these couple of days off this week that I will take advantage of! SUPER excited =]. Side note – I don’t think I got that job for Patelco, but I think its okay…as long as I have a job I’m fine. Jamba is pretty chill with my schedule so I’m not trippin as much. I’m SO EXCITED. ugh I sound like a broken record lol.

I must admit, these past weeks have been really good for me in that I haven’t put guys as my main priority. Its not even on the list in fact – which is nice. I’m really focused and really motivated for this school year that I know having a relationship will fuck things up. I gotta be selfish now, this is the time, no time for mistakes, just improvements! I CAN, I will, I believe! But I have been thinking how great it would be if there was a guy on my level who would sweep me off with their charm…but thats just farfetched right now. I can’t let a guy hold me down – no matter how cute they might be! lol fucking shit. NOT NOW, not right now.

Did I mention I signed up for “saynow.com”. I’m feeling it! I like it. ITS COOL! =] All I’m going to say.

I’m surprised this is blog 40! WOW haha =] thats awesome.

NOW – its story time ladies and gents.

“Friendship is never a battle, but a constant win!” – Joaquin

I’m not saying friendships are easy and I’m not saying friendship never have their arguments, but what I am saying is – through all that mess its always a win because you are always by that persons side through thick and thin! Additionally, its just a reminder that friendships are a treasure and if done right, it will feel like you’ve won the greatest prize of all – each other (lol). But real talk, my story goes way back – back into time.

You see, I was never part of the “in group”. I was never the “cool kid”, never was a part of a clique. I was the kid who always wanted to “fit in”. I always wanted to see where I would fit in. I tried many groups – different friendships in elementary school through high school, but I would always find myself questioning my friendships. I recall in middle school writing to a girl, “a popular girl”, asking her if she was my friend. The need for approval and the need to be wanted was something I craved for even on to my freshman/sophomore year in college.

I did things to prove I was cool. I dressed a certain way, said certain things, tried to fit in. But I knew deep down it wasn’t me. Its taken me a long, long time to understand the true meaning of knowing your worth. I don’t need to prove to anyone that I’m good enough to be your friend, if anything it comes naturally. However, through my years in school, I always stayed neutral when it came to cliques. I didn’t want to be classified as nerdy nor did I wanna be classified as popular, cause I was neither, I was just me. I was never part of a group of big friends because I kept those who really knew me close. However, even those who were close to me burned me…

Fast forward to college, I feel – no I know that the group of friends I do call close, have my back. The group of friends that I have are “popular” in my eyes. The group of friends I party, cry with, gossip, laugh with, experience the good and bad times are my ride or die! I have their back like they have mine and I don’t even question it for a minute. I don’t second guess if they love me, are my friends, or whatever – there are no insecurities when I call, talk, message MY friends. I feel comfortable being myself. Being GAY. Being ME! Being JOAQUIN! I didn’t actually need to prove to them my worth because they already saw that from the get. I was just to scared to believe that THESE PEOPLE (freshman year) were inviting me to hang out! These “cool people” are asking me to be their friend and part of their group!

Well, I’m part of that “cool group” since 2006! Five years later…I’m still partying, cry with, gossiping, laugh with, experiencing the good and bad times with my ride or die. I don’t need to search for the “cool group” because I am in one! Like Mary said,

“How are you so damn COOL if you have no one left who cares.”

Exactly, these friends of mine already know I’m cool, supper sickkkk with it! I’m fly, I’m amazing, I’m wonderful in their eyes! So what more could I ask for? Why do I need to search for other friendships? Yeah, I’m exclusive with these folks for a reason, because for the longest time I never felt I belonged anywhere…I never felt I was wanted or needed. Now (actually for a while now), for the first time in my life – I’m going to claim this as my group, my clique, my ride or die! No matter what goes down from here on, I got their backs like they got mine.

And the beautiful part of it is – they’re my family!

So who are you trying to impress? Why are you trying to fit into another group if you already belong? Mmmm or maybe all this time – you never did.

July 12, 2009

iljb#35: ilike QUOTES by me! :D

My PASSION is my DRIVE that will get me to my DESTINATION to my FUTURE. Believe in yourself and the world will come to you!

I care about my happiness so thats what I’m going to do tomorrow, take care of my happiness.

My future is unstoppable only if I believe it to be! I am a force to be reckoned with!

I live for my future, I live for my family and friends, I live to make change, I live this struggle because I can handle it.

You can escape only for so long. But you’ll end up having to face your reality.

I continue to wonder what I’ve left behind. But I’m not holding on to baggage thats not mine. All I know is the broken can be fixed.

I live the exceptional lifestyle, feels good.

People with integrity do what they say they are going to do. Others have excuses.

Life is possible when your dreams are alive and real.

Nothing is impossible, unless you make it.

Knowing you worth is half the battle.

I’d give you my advice, but its better if you took your own.

We all live by the rules of love, but we forget that there weren’t any rules to begin with.

You’re the music that keeps me on my feet.

They can talk all they want, but thats all they do – talk.

I can’t own your actions.

The journey is priceless.

If you’ve experienced the worst, expect to come out of it better than you were in it.

You’ve made me cry because you meant that much to me.

If it doesn’t work a third time, it will never work.

Its easy to move on because the situation seems all to familiar.

I look back and wonder what I could have done differently.

Money does make me happy.

September 30, 2008

You don’t expect that when you grow up

That your assignment is to doodle. haha. Thats what we do in my DAI (Design and Industry) class. We draw while we have professors/presenters come in. CRAZY! In middle school through high school if you were caught doodling, you are considered to not be paying attention. In college however, you are encouraged to! haha CRAZY! Draw – DRAW – DRAWWWWWWW! 

Oh man…it just put things into perspective tonight. Where I want to go with my career.

“Make design an outlet of expression to show cultural relevance about the Pilipino/Pilipino American culture to others through posters, flyers, DESIGN!”

LOL my bad thesis! haha jp! BUT YES! COLLEGE IS NOW IN SESSION in my book. LETS do this! I got hella pumped when Steve Jones spoke tonight, a professor in DAI. I want him as my professor. REAL TALK! 

LETS DO THIS S F S U!!!!! hahah wow…I can’t believe what my classes are expecting me to do haha crazy! 😀