Archive for February, 2011

February 21, 2011


Isn’t my desk awesome lol

February 20, 2011

iljb#155: Lesson Learned…still in progress

I’m having one of those relapse moments about Danny. I mean, as much as its been so long since I’ve actually talked to him or seen him, I just can’t help but think about him. I tell myself I just need to find another guy worth my time who can help me get passed him because at this point, he was close to being the best I ever had. So when you had the best you ever had, its kind of difficult to anything else other than that. Then again – no opportunity has really risen for me to feel like that. Its been 4 months I’m still single – not talking to anyone, not fucking around, just doing me…and I’m glad…however its just different. Just like what the book I’m reading says, everyday is a new day to learn…learn something…forgive…and love.

I’m on that different kinda level shit
Don’t understand me kinda level shit
Gotta be real to get with me kinda level shit…

I’m good – just going through the motions…
This too shall pass.

I miss him…I really do =P

February 12, 2011

Couldn’t help but remind myself

February 11, 2011

ilikejoaquin VIDEO UPDATE

First and foremost, I must say that I am proud of what I am creating on youtube and on this wordpress. I feel as though its really integrating my videos and a little more explanation to why I did that video. I like it, I’m really doing it yal – like I said I would. I’m excited and its going to be a slow process, but I am doing my best in keeping my word about what I said I would do this year with youtube. I’m giving you roomies more of me than I have in past months and its all me…100%. I appreciate all the continued support, questions, subscriptions, etc. ITS HARD WORK, but its all worth it in the end. I just wanted to just do this side note before I begin ;).

So this was definitely something I wanted to do for a long time now. I haven’t written poetry for about 2 years and it saddens me because poetry was my life – my outlet…when I was hurting this past year, I didn’t even use poetry to help me understand my emotions…shows how disconnected I have become to my words. Doing this hopefully will give me more inspiration to do more of this, work on it better, and become that writer I know I can be. Speaking of which, I miss my ILDD on wordpress. Search it and you’ll find a short series of stories. I’m gonna plan to do that as an addition to wordpress. So excited. I have so much creative juices flowing that I can’t wait to execute all of them ;), but remember I have a full time job and one me doing all this – I truly need an assistant haha.

SO this video was about not wanting a superhero – in a sense – not wanting to be saved by someone. We don’t need saving from anyone, we are perfectly fine saving ourselves. We’re strong and have hidden powers ready to burst. Like Katy Perry sings, “BABY YOU’RE A FIREEEEEWORKKK!” :D. I just got inspired with the word superhero and probably going to add a more legit poem and expand.

Ahh what a soso Friday…let my Saturday start off right 😉 I did laundry already, so now I can fully enjoy the sun =]

February 10, 2011

ilikejoaquin VIDEO UPDATE

Man I’m so fucking irritated with Patrick. Fuck this bitch. FOREAL. I mean, what happened to the guy I dated back then? Shit that guy…wait…he’s still the same…a big reason why I had to break up with him. He couldn’t hold a conversation and he’s said it himself. He’s not on my level and I definitely do not tolerate that kinda shit. If you not on my level, oh well…its not that you’re a bad person, but you’re just holding me back…and I’m not trying to have that.

So he had the nerve to ask for a fucking favor. LIKE are you joking? You have not once really talked to me or said hey lets kick it…its always been an idea. Its like bitch, step yo game up! YOURE A FUCKING AMAZING GUY, I know it…but you lack everything/potential…because you’re so lame. Well you’re lame towards me. I feel like you can talk to anybody …but when it comes to me you get all shy and shit…I know I’m intimidating but helllllo its me! I ain’t gonna take anymore excuses, been doing that for hella long…its time for me to just really put my foot down. As much as I would have wanted to say yes you can stay over, I just couldn’t let myself do that. AND if I did say yes…at what time would he come over? What time would he leave? Am I suppose to entertain him? Sorry, but where were you the past couple of months…exactly…

I hate when folks come in and out like that as if its okay. Or as if nothing has changed…its like bitch NO! You can’t just fucking do that! You’re fucking lame, lame, and again LAME! mmmm I had to do this video cause it irritated the hell out of me! UGH, favor…WTF I GUESS

February 10, 2011

ilikejoaquin VIDEO UPDATE

I wanted to do this video for some reason, I guess after watching parts of For Colored Girls, I got inspired? haha. Well it just a simple video I decided to do because Valentines is coming up and for those who are rushing to get a “date” or “hook up” or whatever it is, I figured I’d reinforce the fact that the REAL love you should be catering to is you – the most important LOVE of all. Sure it would be nice to have someone on Valentines Day, but honestly its more meaningful if that person was MEANINGFUL in your life as well.

Been there done that many times over where I would just rush to get a Valentines…but honestly, there isn’t a big Valentines memory that I really remember…eh its whatever ya know.


I rather be in love through movies or shows, than be in love right now with a person. It just make sense that by the time I get out of this whole rut of being single I will know 100% who I am, be comfortable with who I am, and not be afraid to ask for what I want when I want it. I guess thats the best part of being single – DOING YOU. When you’re with someone, you tend to put yourself in the backseat. Well…I’m tired of doing that…I’ll do me…and shit

I RATHER SPEND HELLA MONEY ON MYSELF ON VALENTINES DAY than on someone whose only temporarily going to be there for me. YA FEEL ME!



February 8, 2011

ilikejoaquin VIDEO UPDATE

I’m totally in love with this song! AHHHH he makes me happy ;D VALENTINES THEME SONG RIGHT HERE 😀 AWWWH

So I decided to make this video because today was interesting. Upon checking my phone this morning, I found this msg from this guy. Yeah I put him on blast, but to be real, I probably helped someone from being just another fuck. Unless they want that, then I probably gave him more of a shout out than a call out LOL either way it works out. ;D

Things like this happen on downelink and sad to say I’ve been victim to this kind of “fuck”. I guess its a mix of being desperate for attention/wanting someone to really hold you. I can’t be mad at those folks who get into this…I was there once too. I can’t be all mad at those who do it because I was the person doing it at one time. But we all learn from it and we grow from it. Its an experience that WE ALL have to go through, gay or straight.

You know better…or at least I’d hope.

February 7, 2011


February 6, 2011

BBT#2: I can’t stop this feeling anymore

I love glee. Finn wasn’t really someone I thought I’d think was cute, but I have grown fond of him. Anyway, I’m totally watching some animal planet shit lol. I’m like how the hell do these cameras get so damn close. Its like magic. Lol. Well today is going to be real chill too, the best weekend I’ve had at home. I stayed up till 2 playing rainbow six with my bro. Awww it was fun, too bad I sucked at the game, but still it was legit. Vanquish, even though I wanted it like no other, made me mad how I couldn’t get passed the first stage. I’m like ughhhh. I still wanna see dead space.

My fam and I are going to church soon, yee I’m excited. I got a lot to thank god about. Well I’ll continue this later, but this weekend was so perfect muahah. Being SINGLE is wonderful day 2. Yee

February 5, 2011

Blackberry Thoughts#1: Excited for this

Well this is super fun. I’m at a Kirin w/ my family and I’m happy bc I’m ready to eat nom nom. Additionally, I’m happy I downloaded this wordpress bb app. Now I feel like I’m more mobile w my thoughts. Hehe I hope this will help me reply to folks faster yee. Well I’ve just enjoyed my saturday here in Mt. View. I never used to go home, but now I feel like its a must. Its really nice.

You know, February is going by quick too..shit its almost the middle of Feb. I can’t believe it… Sigh its amazing…full time, more time spent w roomies, friends, just doing me. Pleeeease remind myself how amazing it is to be single. It really is.

I guess bc valentines is coming up everyones just like getting ready to be all lovey dubbie with whoever, but it my experience, just like any holiday, this too shall pass. Valentines has become one of those holidays where u wanna find the girl/guy for that day, when you know its okay to be single. I’m ok being single and need to remind myself.

Alright, off I go home to play vanquish yee