Archive for July, 2010

July 19, 2010

iljb#127: You know this.

July 14, 2010

iljb#126: Knowing this is worth it

this is crazy but every one of these quotes – i try and live by.

July 13, 2010

A month and then some…

bc this is what i miss

July 7, 2010



July 2, 2010

I teared up…

I Hugged a Man in His Underwear. And I am Proud.
I hugged a man in his underwear. I think Jesus would have too.

I spent the day at Chicago’s Pride Parade. Some friends and I, with The Marin Foundation, wore shirts with “I’m Sorry” written on it. We had signs that said, “I’m sorry that Christians judge you,” “I’m sorry the way churches have treated you,” “I used to be a bible-banging homophobe, sorry.” We wanted to be an alternative Christian voice from the protestors that were there speaking hate into megaphones.

What I loved most about the day is when people “got it.” I loved watching people’s faces as they saw our shirts, read the signs, and looked back at us. Responses were incredible. Some people blew us kisses, some hugged us, some screamed thank you. A couple ladies walked up and said we were the best thing they had seen all day. I wish I had counted how many people hugged me. One guy in particular softly said, “Well, I forgive you.”

Watching people recognize our apology brought me to tears many times. It was reconciliation personified.

My favorite though was a gentleman who was dancing on a float. He was dressed solely in white underwear and had a pack of abs like no one else. As he was dancing on the float, he noticed us and jokingly yelled, “What are you sorry for? It’s pride!” I pointed to our signs and watched him read them.

Then it clicked.

Then he got it.

He stopped dancing. He looked at all of us standing there. A look of utter seriousness came across his face. And as the float passed us he jumped off of it and ran towards us. In all his sweaty beautiful abs of steal, he hugged me and whispered, “thank you.”

Before I had even let go, another guy ran up to me, kissed me on the cheek, and gave me the biggest bear hug ever. I almost had the wind knocked out of me; it was one of those hugs.

This is why I do what I do. This is why I will continue to do what I do. Reconciliation was personified.

I think a lot of people would stop at the whole “man in his underwear dancing” part. That seems to be the most controversial. It’s what makes the evening news. It’s the stereotype most people have in their minds about Pride.

Sadly, most Christians want to run from such a sight rather than engage it. Most Christian won’t even learn if that person dancing in his underwear has a name. Well, he does. His name is Tristan.

However, I think Jesus would have hugged him too. It’s exactly what I read throughout scripture: Jesus hanging out with people that religious people would flee from. Correlation between then and now? I think so.

Acceptance is one thing. Reconciliation is another. Sure at Pride, everyone is accepted (except perhaps the protestors). There are churches that say they accept all. There are business that say the accept everyone. But acceptance isn’t enough. Reconciliation is.

But there isn’t always reconciliation. And when there isn’t reconciliation, there isn’t full acceptance. Reconciliation is more painful; it’s more difficult. Reconciliation forces one to remember the wrongs committed and relive constant pain. Yet it’s more powerful and transformational because two parties that should not be together and have every right to hate one another come together for the good of one another, for forgiveness, reconciliation, unity.

What I saw and experienced at Pride 2010 was the beginning of reconciliation. It was in the shocked faces of gay men and women who did not ever think Christians would apologize to them.

What I saw and experienced at Pride 2010 was the personification of reconciliation. It was in the hugs and kisses I received, in the “thank you’s” and waves, in the smiles and kisses blown.

I hugged a man in his underwear. I hugged him tightly. And I am proud.

Here’s the embrace.

Photo Credit: Michelle at

July 2, 2010

iljb#125: Airplanes

I could use a wish right now – and if that happens to be leaving this damn place for good – then so be it. I’m enjoying my Friday off and it feels great just simply waking up late in the afternoon with no care in the world and following my own schedule without any commitments or engagements. I guess thats the best part of summer – enjoying it to its fullest.

I wish I could just go on a plane with the money I have and just escape for today. Without a care. Just fly and come back later today. Wouldn’t that just be amazing. I wouldn’t need to worry about hotel, just transportation. shoot, I already have my id that could get me through. haha. Man…where to go though =].

Can we just pretend. That I was a millionaire and I fly myself to a wheat field LOL

I’m gonna try my best to enjoy this day. Its gonna be chill, but thats fine with me ;O

July 1, 2010

iljb#124: Maybe this time?

This time I’m gonna make it a point to be different. I’m going to do something different. I’m going to do this for me and only me. I temporarily deactivated my facebook – seeing that it is a constant reminder of how an hr turns into 5. I deleted downelink finally – after much consideration I have decided that it has nothing that I need or what anymore. I’ve been there and done that – I tried making friends, tried finding love, tried finding myself – but ultimately have wasted my time in a sense in continuing to update and upload stuff. Besides, its about how you look, not what your brain knows. I have also temporarily made my youtube invisible – I need some time to really be out of radar and its not as though you can’t watch my videos.

In conclusion – I’ve noted that the internet has ruined my life and I will begin slowly to regain normalcy without these social networks.

I’ll keep twitter and this. IF you a fan, you’ll know where to find me. If you want to know where I am – you probably already know.


I’m here. U ready?

– – – – –


I woke up an hour ago and realized I slept through this whole day before I go to work…awesome. I’m looking forward to work because it’ll get my body and mind off things. You really never know what happens at work until you WORK. I’m feeling alright, however, I had the most unsettling and disturbing dreams last night. It began with myself trying to fall asleep and all of a sudden I’m in my car driving and suddenly I loose control and drive into a house. I then had one of those moments where I slowly gasped my way through waking up. It was weird. Then I dreamed about aliens coming to earth and separating my family and all this crap. It was scary…I had a final dream, but I can’t recall it. I dunno what these dreams mean, but I think its due to me staying up late.

In lighter news, I’m happy to begin this month. 😀