Archive for June, 2010

June 30, 2010

iljb#123: do this for me

June 28, 2010

iljb#122: change

June 27, 2010

iljb#121: OKAYYY

June 23, 2010

iljb#120: Back to Basics – Philippines

I guess in with the new and out with the old…thats the new Makati Medical Center I assume in the Philippines in which I was born at. I hear its world class and its really nice. My mom was telling me that I was lucky that I was born in such a luxury life at the time…I was pretty much on a silver spoon or whatever my sister and mom were saying. Today, as I embark on my 120th entry, I’d like to reflect on the basics…where I came from and where I soon want to see my self be. This is a memoir of today’s conversation…one damn eye opening conversation with my sister and mom.

It was a lovely day in many ways – however, the clouds and fog were not backing down. My sister, mom, and I went to Monterey today because it was my day off. I thought of it as “I don’t do this often, so I’m just gonna do it cause I love em” kinda day off. I was also testing my camera in tweeting and updating with photos I was taking. I was being real silly with taking pictures in that I wasn’t being serious, surprisingly enough my mom was joining me in my silliness by doing silly poses as well. Oh mom. We went to 17 mile drive and just drove around and stopped. I thought to myself – fuck I wouldn’t wanna live here even though its nice – its just not my cup of tea.

On the way home, we got into the discussion of Elenita S. Binay, M.D., the current vice president’s wife of the Philippines, giving birth to me at Makati Medical. I was like not phased by it at first, but as the conversation went on – I was surprised to hear so much about my history.

So at the time, Binay called my mom telling her that there’s this baby. My mom and her used to talk about adopting a baby for awhile now, but because my mom was old already, folks told her she couldn’t. So she wanted to adopt. So with a phone call, she got me. My mom was telling me that she and Binay were close, especially because she basically helped finance Jejomar Binay, who is the current vice president of the Philippines, with his campaign to be mayor of Makati in ’88 or so. My mom was telling me that they owe a lot of debt to my mom and that if we go back home, she’d just have to call em up and they’d welcome us with open arms. She was telling me that Binay actually wanted to get me. HAHA imagine me…the vice presidents son. AHHH how would have that been right? hahah crazyyyy…would I have been gay still? LOL I dunno. Anyway, my mom continued saying that life in the Philippines was amazing cause we were millionaires and I was lucky to have been adopted by such a family. She was saying that we hosted all the parties, my dad supplied all the big time hospitals with medical supplies, my mom would have money in paper bags just lying around her room from different countries that she did business with, and we had 10+ types of help around the house. We lived lavishly and money was nothing. My mom told me that she even asked herself when all this would end.

It ended when my moms building, that housed her business, burned down. Then my dad was getting sick and she had to pay for the medical expenses. Eventually our family became bankrupt and had to move to the states. However, my mom was telling me that we should go plan a trip to the Philippines sometime soon because we still have money from my dads pension and our property that we need to sell back home. We could stay there for 6 months she said and we’d still be good financially. I had no idea. My sister started to talk like, “When we get back home I need a driver and a car.” just like that lol its nothing. My family was raised into privilege.

Forbes Park is where I was raised. Its a gated community in the Philippines where all the upscale high class people live. My mom continued that we lived next to ambassadors and such. Continuing on, she said the Aragones’s were established, especially with my relatives. My mom was the richest and well off out of everyone in my family. She said everyone leaned on her for support. Even here in the states, since we still have money in the Philippines, she supports our relatives. Thats “kakandangloob” if you ask me – out of her heart. But it was sad knowing how we had to leave because of debt. After my dad passed away, my mom couldn’t handle the business and folks weren’t paying for the medical supplies since they knew my dad was dead already. It was sad…

Then my mom was talking about how my Tito Pepe wanted my mom to come back because he knows she has connections with Jejomar. Tito Pepe’s son was murdered and it was a big thing in the Philippines in ’95. Tito Pepe want’s moms help to see if he could build ties with Jejomar. Its crazy how my mom was saying she hella helped him in his finances and endeavors when Jejomar was just a struggling lawyer. How she never denied anyone for money when they asked.

Then we got into talking about going back and how we wouldn’t need to have money for expenses when we go, because we already have money in the Philippines – enough to spend. I have about 4,000 saved from dad I think. CRAZY. 4,000 can get you a long way. But yeah…this led me to say and tweet, “I dunno if you know this, but I’m pretty much a big deal.”

Technically my mom is a big deal and shes legit. All these years I heard stories about her connections, but I guess it wasn’t until today that I was like whaaaaaat. I never knew all this. My moms like, yeah we should stop by and say hi to Binay and you can say, “Tita, na tandaan mo ba ako?” (do you remember who I am?) SHIIIT haha its crazy. So we’re planning this Philippines trip now and its crazy because I can’t wait…

My family reunion is in mid July…its about to be cracked out. Seriously…haha my cousins have no idea who I am haha. OOo thats another thing my sister was saying, the adopted ones in the family were the ones who worked their asses off. haha oOO and I could have had a lil sister =/ mannn haha.

Point of the story is…talk story is important with families…it starts with a simple conversation…I know more about my past that I ever did and its great. I feel a lot more whole knowing all this. Its nice…:D

SO…my family’s a pretty big thing in the Philippines ay haha. My mom said I could be a star in the PI, but what she doesn’t know is I already am here =] HAHAHAH

June 18, 2010

iljb#119: and its a pretty good one too.

Its totally unexpected, but I never thought to be a Bieber fan…honestly, I figured he was just a dude who all the lil girls like…but tell me why after I took the time to listen to some of his songs, that I’m like BIEB’d out. He’s a talented kid, yes he is – the N’sync of this young generation and he’s putting in the work. I know a lot of folks give him shit for …I dunno whatever reason, but hes good plain and simple and I like his songs. Esp Somebody to love (which btw I love the video for ahhh) and Never say Never. Hes great.

So last night I went to celebrate Vince’s birthday. HAPPY birthday. 23 man…big number. I’m embarking on my 24th year lol fuck. Anyway, we went to San Jose and did the bar thing. To be honest, SJ is kinda boring to me, not really my cup of tea. Even the bar scene isn’t that OOO or ahh…and security really…REALLY, it is not that serious! ugh. Anyway, I wanted to go to the gay club with Ryan, but I didn’t wanna leave the friends and the bday boy so I was really caught in between. However, when I did go to Bric, it wasn’t that great to begin with. Nice place tho, but not crackin. I wanted to go to CRAVE. cries. haha this is what happens when you have straight friends. I saw their faces…hella not feeling it haha. It was dead tho, we ended up at Temple and they was all over that place haha I was now the “observer”. Which by the way was interesting being since I was like, “OOo this is how some guys pick up girls…Ooo no…” haha saw one dude get rejected. haha FAIL. But it was alright, I just didn’t like how the club closed at like 1:30am and they kept on hitting this gong that was annoying. YUCK. I dunno, I felt lightweight that night. I drank a coors and a mixed drink and I was a lil buzzed, but more sick than buzzed. blah, was not feeling the alcky last night. We then went to La Vics and that was a good ending. HELLA good haha. Saw this cute guy – I was like AWEEE you’re fun. lol.

Speaking of guys, I keep on seeing Andys post pix lol I’m over it, I am. But just seeing it on my update feed brings me back to what he did to me. WHICH by the way is probably my karma for something I did or doing. Anyway, just seeing him happy is nice…I guess lol same with Joey…I’m like REEEEEEAALLY you’re with Rocko now lol WTF haha ugh I guess singers stick with singers…and thats why me and Joey didn’t click LOL ugh I was really trying to make that happen. haha and I love how he imed me one time saying, “I understand if you don’t want to talk to me.” and then stopped talking to me after that HAHA how rude. Summer…honestly, I had my lil date and I’m realizing that dating will probably tie me down from my dreams that I have for myself, which cannot happen. So…I guess I’m just coo with messing around or just having fun. shrugs. I dunno. Its not like I’m looking for it – honestly I’m not, I just get in that situation where opportunity arrises. Does that make me a whore lol. A WHORE is someone who looks for it – I just get it LOL. ugh nvm. lol I’m okay with guys right now…the recent one I dates was cool really cool. But its like…I felt he was missing something important…me for me. I dunno…I tried it out for the 3rd time, but by then I was like I’m really not feeling it.

I guess it was my bad for not communicating with him that I was over it, I just don’t do well with that. We were doing all this through text…this “lets stop dating.” Which proves to me that thats the kinda respect we ultimately gave it each other, we couldn’t even do it on the phone. shrugs, so I gave him that respect back. I didn’t deny what he was saying, I just agreed. Yes, I didn’t communicated, you deserve better, and I’m sorry. I mean what more did he want. He then texted me saying we shouldn’t talk for awhile and leave this be. I was like alright. Next morning I get fwd texts for all the shit I sent him and he goes take all this bullshit back, they didn’t mean anything. LOL I shrugged because WHO does that? HELLA dramatic. lol I was like alright you’re cool. But I get it, I hurt him and well thats that. I just wasn’t feeling the pay for me all the time. IT WAS NICE, don’t get me wrong, but theres a point where its like you gotta be fair and let each other pay…we only been in 3 dates and I felt like we were already COUPLING each other right. He used the, I felt like you used me for sex. MMM well I was like whatever, then you never got who I was really to begin with if you thought that was my intentions. WE had moments where we were in heat and that was mutual, but don’t just say that was it. I guess thats where it just ended when I felt after kissing…the conversations just dwindled.

This is my karma. lol I’m gonna get it real bad. When I talk with someone in the future that I like, this exact situations gonna happen to me. lol oh fuck…whatever. Its fine. I gotta focus on other things anyway.

LIKE moving! lol I’m so on this move, I see signs pointing to LA and thats all I need to validate myself. I also done the calculations with the TIPS I make at work, if I make a min of $10 each time I work for 2 weeks/5 days x 2 x 7= 1,400 LOL haha I know my math is weird, but I get it haha anyway, its like thats how much I can save uppp at least 1,000 just from tips. RIGHTTTTT???? I dunno, thats the biggest priority right now…then rent, phone bill, and everything else. I spend most of my money on gas and food. THATS it. ugh -_- haha i did my calculations and I can save 10,000 by the end of this year. AMAZING right lol thats all hard work by me. haha and we’re getting a 25c raise in July…oh fuck haha. SEE, this is why I can’t find another job. blah…I’m building my resume as we speak, I’ll have it up soon.

ANYWAY, did a new video for youtube…I feel like my youtube fan base has decreased…I mean…sadly its not the same viewership as before…its decreased with respect since I don’t update much. But its all good, its quality, not quantity.

WELL, to end my rant..I’ll say this…

I WANNA WATCH TOY STORY 3 lol cries. Anyway I’m gonna take a nap lol BIEBER!!!

June 16, 2010

iljb#118: TRUE

June 14, 2010

iljb#117: SF to LA

So I figured, I need to make my move to LA more real for me. So what I decided was change my background on my laptop, youtube, twitter, and wordpress with the background of LA. It feels nice because it will remind me of the big prize at the end of the road. I’ll be going to SoCal twice this summer so I think thats a sign for something right? I’m excited, I just need to make sure I save that money. If its not the end of this year, not in Jan/Feb/March or even until summer of next year, at least I know I’m preparing myself 😀

I don’t know about you, but I know I’ll be okay if I move. I know what it takes and I know its going to be hard, but so was my transition from lil suburb Mountain View to the big city San Francisco. Why LA? A lot of folks ask, but I can’t give one answer, its just calling me. I feel it. The life I live here in SF needs to be used to its full potential. I got this. I know this. I’ve been well prepared. IF moving to LA means just being there for a year and then move back, so be it – right? Thats the experience I’m willing to take. I’m good with keeping my goals checked and done, I’m good with multitasking, and I’m definitely good with networking. I can do this.

The secret just transcends in my life more than ever now. Its good – cause this is exactly where I need to be.

So…I invite you, to come away with me =]

June 13, 2010

iljb#116: ANOTHER one

June 12, 2010

iljb#115: TRUE

June 5, 2010

iljb#114: I miss SFSU already

how i saw the world each day!

June 3, 2010

iljb#113: <3