Archive for March 31st, 2010

March 31, 2010


March 31, 2010

How do you forgive an old friend who hurt you?

…you don’t. its a lost cause.

March 31, 2010

iljb#94.5: Thinking…

Before I was going to bed, I read a youtubers message to me on mail about advice in coming out. ITS soooo crazy how folks ask me all these advice, questions, concerns that they have just because…I dunno…its me…lol Well then again, I rather have them go to be than none at all…but its crazy what youtube has done for me…its connected me with so sooo many people good and bad, but all in all its just been an experience that really is unique. What person is able to wake up every day to find a new connection, subscriber, comment, something from a random stranger who lives across the globe. You know what I mean?

I guess it goes to show, that even though I don’t vlog much as I used to or talk about the “GAY” things that count…I’m still able to connect back and reply with my 2 cents…its nice that I can…have the opportunity to help a persons life…SHIT I knew I wasn’t able to have that when I was coming up…fuck LOL…

I guess I feel good…thats it…its sweet and flattering…

March 31, 2010

iljb#94: Today was a good day to REflect.

I guess today I couldn’t help but think how much MORE I could have done in applying to grad school. I guess they were right…my professors…even I caught myself saying it too to the students and parents I talk to about school…don’t just apply to one school. I chose only SFSU and they’re not accepting anyone because of the budget cuts…WELL now I got a year and then some to really think of what I want to do and how to do it. I didn’t even consider Berkeley as a possibility for grad school. I guess too, I got inspired when I saw Aldrich get accepted to really good schools like UCLA and USC…I’m like fuck…if he can do it, I can too. I guess I was just too scared…actually I am scared…that I’m not good enough or my grades wont make the cut…I guess Aldrich is my inspiration to just try and look for other options aside for SFSU…shit if I choose Berkeley and get accepted I can still stay around the area…so here is my new plan…


I’ll think about doing those schools for now…I think Berkeley is a feat to accomplish and reach…how about money though? ugh…we’ll worry about that later right? lol shit I got a year to save CRIES haha…but I guess it goes to show…theres really life after graduation…and I will experience that. I really want to be a professor…I’m doing my internship for ETHS 210. LOL I mean I basically am the teacher lol…I just suck at math though…UGH

SOOO school…I gotta write that paper …FUCK Spring BREAK was not a break…it was like another week for me to just UGHHH…

Thats why I guess I shopped today to take care of all worries…sigh…

On a lighter note…I’m glad guys aren’t my prerogative. Its nice worrying about me and not others.