iljb#88: Birthday Thoughts

I guess tonight was just one of those nights where I just had to stop thinking about it and just enjoy the time I had. However, I couldn’t help but fall in that thought of feeling stupid or…I dunno…was it a waste? Terri and Ster told me to not think about it too much…yeah you’re right…but…I can’t help it. I guess for me…I’m doing something new for 2010…following what I believe in and doing what I say…I guess what I said today was…I’ll get you that coffee…So I did…and well…it fell short of what I expected. What I expected was at least…a lil more conversation…well it was nice…but…its fine…things happen…and unfortunately today…didn’t happen the way I thought it would. But thats fine…nothing ever goes planned anymore…

I feel stupid because it was the first time I met him and I felt like I was lightweight pushing to hang out…but I guess it takes two…he did say get him coffee…and well I did…but I can’t help but think what if he just said that to get a free drink…I guess like he told me a few days ago…”I’d like to give folks the benefit of the doubt.” Well I guess my thing is…don’t say something to me and then not do it…its gonna bug me…like the simple “I’ll text you after I get off…” Well I waited…its 1:33am…still no text. I know…I am thinking over it too much…we aren’t talking…we barely know each other…shrugs…whats the point…I am trying…I AM, but its just falling short of what I had expected…

Is there something wrong with me? I mean who gets a FREE coffee for a guy? UHH duhh a guy that wants to show that he’s interested in getting to know you…maybe I should brush it off…mmmm maybe…sometimes its not worth the stress…=P

I do have a lot to worry about…and this one should not be on my list…

thats why they call it a CRUSH – it hurts…

happy birthday MARY – thanks for sharing.

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