Archive for January, 2010

January 31, 2010

ilikeDAYdreams#1: Poleng Guy

*PS. excuse my tenses in this blog. lol I’m all over the place with it haha.

I want to just be able to just breathe in all of the beauty that you exude. I want to be able to feel the sensation of your love. I want to be able to trust that you and I were meant to be.

I want that romantic moment and I’m still waiting for it. I’ve had a small taste of what it could be like and I guess I jumped the gun when I did because it felt so good. Those movie moments which make us all go crazy. Those unexpected moments that make us go “hmmm” and then leave us smiling because it was nice.

So I guess last night I was fantasying my “guy” at Poleng – I knew it was to good to be true, but it didn’t hurt to dream. I spotted the guy that was wearing a white sweater who was bald with a line up. I guess I spotted him because he was well dressed and clean. He kept walking around the bar and I would find it odd running into him. There was a point where we were so close to each other that I sniffed if he had a scent.

I was excited and I wanted to just – ask him if he was. It would have been nice if he was – then he could have bumped into me and said something along the lines of, “Hey…I’m not sure if you’re…but…I’m guessing you are…I was wondering if I could buy you a drink.” and after all that was said that night – that sentence would be the last thing I remember. He would be discrete about it to not bring too much attention – he’d motion me to sit down at the table and drink. He’d say something along the lines of “I saw you when I walked in…and you looked familiar…but I guess you caught my attention.” I then would start to get red and then smile. The loud music, people walking by, and the environment would just fade in the background as I just focus on him in front of me.

We would talk about where we’re from and find that we have similar interest and know similar people. I’d find out he wasn’t too much in the scene, but knows enough about it. He’d wink at me and smile and I’d joke with him by saying, “Something wrong with your eye?” and he’d laugh and say, “Aw like that? haha…you’re cute.” He’d then have to leave for a bit because his homies are asking him for a shot. I told him I’d catch him later while I find my own friends.

20 mins later I find myself dancing to a classic with my group…straight in my direction I spot my guy. Dancing like he was a professional from ABDC. His swag and his moves would be so entertaining that I’d forget about the person I was dancing with. He looks at my direction and then winks again from a far. He notices that I’m watching him.

After the song ends he slowly moves towards my direction…he brushes his shoulder against mine and smoothly clench my hand then walks to the bar. I smile and continue what I was doing…

The night ends and I don’t see him anymore. I start to head towards the exit sad that I can’t find him. Suddenly, he appears in front of me and smiles. He hands me a piece of paper…its his number.


January 23, 2010

iljb#81: Giving Up On You

I guess the hardest part about it is just that – you. When I wanted it to be real, when I felt as though it was, when I made myself believe you were it…I’m trying to put my feelings back to where they were…but my heart is somewhere else.

But the one who has my heart doesn’t give a damn about me.

January 22, 2010

iljb#80: Funny thing about 2010…

You never know what to expect. I guess its been a good start to the year, yea? Lets just say the past weeks have just been bumps in the road and I’ve gotten over them. Recently, I’ve just been getting back to the mode of school and just getting business settled with school, friends, family, and relationships. I attribute all my blessings these past few days to God. Without his blessings, I wouldn’t be, feel, know that where I am right now is exactly where I need to be.

Just like Obamas first year in office (yeah its been a year crazy), I too have felt like last year was just yesterday. I know much of what I plan to do for 2010 is change and to be able to move forward to a better life – a healthier one. Keep those who I hold dear close and just make those relationships stronger. For those who are just starting – well its going to take awhile – just like those damn “papers”. Relationships have been the last thing on my mind…I guess I needed all that mess to get me out of that mode of feeling the need to be with someone. Yeah it would be nice – but clearly being single has so much advantages. SO SO much. lol I’m fine with that…

Financial aid kicked in and I’m so happy. Money does make the world go round.
Hey, I’m blessed…I truly am.

Funny how 2010 was starting off bad…but I guess it was that bump that made me realize things aren’t so bad after all.

Happy New Year everyone.