iljb#65: FOTM

After awhile, I’ve revisited my blogs and what I’ve wrote and it boggles me that some of the things I wrote…I wrote. Also, I feel like my own Carrie from Sex and the City (btw I’ve been calling it Sex in the city. lol). I write about these things, experiences, thoughts about life and I record them so that one day I can look back at them and reference them…or others can reference them. Speaking of referencing, I found out that some of the video I took this summer for SoCal are gone…=[ it makes me sad because they were really funny. I guess we’ll have the memories left in our heads =[ saddd…this is why my life should be filmed on an every day basis cause its pretty interesting (as boring as I might make it to sound). You want the “REAL WORLD”, shoot…I got the Real World for you.

Speaking of the Real World, I’ve been actually enjoying the real world this weekend. Haven’t touched a single homework just yet because I’m enjoying my peace in my room, even though its HELLA sunny out. I guess its my way of giving me a day to relax because I have been working up at storm. I’m so glad last weeks over…a real rough week for me. But you know what, I made it through and I was able to help others on the way. I found out something I didn’t know about myself this past week and that is me just being a simple kind of guy. I mean I’ve been knowing that, but the fact that someone recognized that and told me is comforting. Additionally, my friend told me that, “Because you’ve taken care of us, maybe its time to watch out and take care of you”, a real nice gesture of appreciation I might say. Its nice. To know that even after all the bad shit that has happened in my life, I can count on people to lift me up at my darkest moments…and trust, I had that dark moment this week…it was a fucking storm.

FOTM – Focus on the Moment. Its so interesting how I found this picture at the time that I did because it makes me reflect on what that means to me. Focus on the moment, how about MOMENTS. Which I do…I carefully focus on the moments that either make me mad, sad, happy, or overjoyed. I guess another way of putting it is, take it for what it is. I mean thats what I’ve been doing this past week…taking each moment for what it is. This past week also brought past friends and relationships back into my life. Kind of caught me off guard, but I took each moment for what it was. Its “a start” as I like to say. Also I look at it as, if you’ve been hurt by folks and someone just reaches out to you in a way that you feel in genuine and true, I say let go of all that animosity and regret, and take that moment – focus on that moment – and take it for what it is. FOTM. Sometimes we loose that focus and end up somewhere far from that moment…and we end up not being grateful for that moment[s].

The time to grow up…the time to forgive…the time to let go of all that was bad…is now. It is those moments where you just say to yourself, “everything will be okay.” even though its been ages since you felt this way. FOTM and take it for what it is – a step, a marker, something that bridges you and that experience/person. FOTM.

I think too much…I want to record all that I know is good…but I’ll take it in strides and FOTM…do what I can do now…and eventually those moments will not only be recorded by me, but by others.

I believe in moments – bad and good – because either one molds us to be more brave, more daring, more than we ever expected to be. These moments – whichever they might be – are the moments for us to focus on.

Things could be a lot worse right now in my life…as bad as they are right now, I gotta remember that they could be a lot worse. And when and if they do – I know I’ll be prepared.

I gotta not only stay FOTM, but FOTM[s].

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