iljb#13: Stupid.

Tuesday, Apr 21, 2009
This is an excellent time to eliminate whatever is unnecessary and outworn in your life from clutter and disorder in your environment to an unhealthy relationship or even a long-held attitude or belief which keeps you from going after what you really want in life.

You are also more perceptive than usual. You see other people’s true colors more clearly and you may discover a secret or the hidden aspect of some situation.

Wednesday, Apr 22, 2009
You are likely to come to a very clear, definite decision at this time and to let others know exactly what you want. You are not in a very conciliatory mood and are not averse to stirring up unpleasant controversy in defense of your plan, idea, or desire. You may speak or act in haste now which can be a cause of regret later on.

Thursday, Apr 23, 2009
There is much activity; you move rapidly from one thing to another and a hectic, somewhat stressful pace is likely. Many errands, phone calls, letters which require a response, and other “busywork” is on the agenda. A minor but rather tense confrontation is likely.

WHO the fuck makes these? I swear its the story of my life! I’m sooo frustrated right now. I feel like punching a wall – but I wont cause that really hurts. lol. But in all seriousness…I feel like I am the only man made for me – there isn’t a damn guy out there who really gets me. Who really will put up with my shit. And its fine what others may say about me, believe about me, WHATEVER because thats them and I can’t own that for shit. I guess its just a lesson learned now than later. Its unfortunate too because I mean great guys and I can say they are great, but they sure know how to act up and what do I do – I take it…I fucking take it for the team. Don’t say I don’t try and work it out, I sure do work it out. I just don’t stick around for bullshit…and if thats me being selfish then so be it…I guess thats just who I am selfish that I know what I want and I know what I don’t want when I see it.

I hate when I keep repeating my self OVER and over and the person completely doesn’t understand the words that are coming out of my mouth. Am I retarded? What the fuck…is it my fault? I swear I’m being clear. “I’m HURT” is not the same as “You think I fucked up.” COMPLETELY different. If you find yourself in a state of unhappiness, you gotta question yourself…is it worth it? Is it worth you crying uncontrollably when you have other things to worry about. I’m not trying to play the victim anymore…but its so weird how I spot the ones that do. “I did this…I did that…You did this…” making me feel like shit…honestly some people don’t know how to focus on the words I’m saying.

UGH…you know what…fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk my life. I’m done.

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