Growing Up Knowing Myself Better

Life takes me forward. Life takes me back. Life is my present. Life is my future. 

When I look back at all the things I have done from this point in my life, I can say I have been for the most part happy. Lucky to be who I am. Lucky to have grown up with the people who I am surrounded by. Lucky to have gained the experience to be a better person. Life is unexpected – with lots of love and heartache – but life is what we live and breathe for everyday we wake up. I thank the Lord every time I wake up to a new day with challenges that await. I know I can get through it, I know I can make it, I know I am nothing without him. Life is so beautiful that it sometimes gets lost from all the hate, jealousy, anger, and bitterness that many have about LIFE. 

Growing up, I know myself better now because of life. I am truly lucky to have been raised in the United States as oppose to the Philippines. I am truly lucky to have gotten the education that I have now in the public school system – especially SF State. I am truly lucky to be able to have a job that pays to get me through the months. I am so so lucky to have a family who I now can love because I love myself. 

Heres a story about my family – I never used to want to go home when I was up in SF. I wanted to escape my mom and my siblings from telling me what to do. It wasn’t until my junior year that shit started to happen. My sister lost her job. My brother lost his job. It was only my other brother who was supporting the family. I had a choice to make…stop school and help the family…or continue. My family told me to stay, but it was hard knowing that they were struggling. This point in my life changed my perspective on things because financially we – I was in a debt. It got to the point where I had 94 cents in my bank account. I had to support my family for a little bit since they asked me – their son for money. Who does that? WHO goes through that? Not many college students I tell you. It was hard and it was a rough time. To add – my moms health condition. Close scares of her passing away…This and everything else in my life added stress to everything I called LIFE. To lose a parent right now is not something I want to go through with. This has made me appreciate my mom more and made me see her for who she truly is. A hardworking mother, helping her kids survive. She would do anything to make us happy. She would sacrifice her life for us. This realization only hit after 21 years. Now, I have a better love for my mom and appreciate in coming back home. Even if its for a day because I know to her that means MORE than anything. Additionally, I’ve started to have better communication with my brother – I can actually talk to him now – this is another story about me having a huge falling out period with my brother. 

The point is. Growing up in the life that I have experienced has made me a better person. All the shit that has happened in my life – and trust there has been A LOT of shit – has just made me push to become a better person. To do my best and to make best of the situation at hand. I don’t/try not to dwell on the bad because LIFE has so much good. I don’t blame people for what they have done wrong to me, but rather appreciate their contributions in making me a stronger person. I don’t blame God for the financial rut that me and my family have endured because God has a bigger plan for me and my family and with patience he will grace us with answered prayers. 

If I learned anything from this point in my life is – to really LIVE life to the fullest no matter what life throws at you. With God, family, and friends by your side you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. In many ways, you have to self motivate yourself to get to where you want to be, but trust you wont be alone in getting there. 

I am blessed to be able to touch many peoples lives with the series that I have done on youtube. And this blog is dedicated to Michael – for you my friend are a bigger inspiration to me. You experiences, your life, what you’ve shared with me has opened my heart more to realize that I do help people – and in a way its a gift that God has given me. I teared up hearing your story because no one should ever go through that, but knowing that the struggle has made you the person you are today makes me confident that Life is a beautiful struggle, that in the end – we get through it with the help of our Lord. 

Be you and accept yourself. 

Smile because you are better off than many.

Live Life like it was your last. 

Again, thanks Michael. You are a true inspiration.

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One Comment to “Growing Up Knowing Myself Better”

  1. Like I said in the previous post keep you head to the sky. I know exactly how your feeling because in many ways our lives somehow moving at the same momentum. I used to be very selfish growing up and I did’nt really know the value of a parent especially my mom until she started getting older and her health started deteriorating. She used to always say to me that “one day I will regret not appreciating her” but now I know and I hold onto every hug and every minute that i spend with her…parent’s love us unconditionally even if we don’t feel the same way about ourselves. I was born the same day and year as you too so that might be the reason why we have so much in common, lol.

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