I have no idea…

I have no idea where I’m going…what I’m doing…why I’m awake right now. Life is in limbo right now. I feel so UGH…I don’t wanna do anything. I can’t comprehend any of my textbooks and I can’t seem to focus on a simple task of just …FOCUSING. I feel so…unmotivated. I know how that was last semester…and I swear I don’t want to go back that road again. Its just right now I’m like FUCK…I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. 

I have everything in my life right now. Money, Friends, Family, a place to live…sigh…

I guess the break up seems to have taken more of an effect that it should have. I knew it was gonna hurt…but I didn’t know it was gonna hurt this bad…I know I can’t go back to the relationship just cause it wasn’t good for both of us. Stressing…us getting into arguments…at least for me…the love was squeezed out of me…slowly like an orange in a juicer. 

I’ve been “depressed shopping” lately. Buying shit, that I need, but don’t need right now…It would be worse if I had no money. I’m also just letting myself go as far as weight. My face is just irritating the fuck outta me…where the fuck did I get all these zits…MAN…=/ sigh…

Whats going on?

One Comment to “I have no idea…”

  1. You sound like your in so much pain right now and you probably are, but you should thank God that you are feeling this pain because eventually it will go away and you will learn from it. Love has the worst and best effects on our lives and what you need to do at times like this is remember to love yourself first and keep everything secondary. Your face will be back to its sexy smoothness, and all this energy that your using over another failed relationship can be utilized positively, schoolwork perhaps lmao. On a sidenote, I have to thank you because I feel like you give so much of yourself to strangers, your vlogs which are nothing short of painlfully entertaining, and this blog, which is your inner dialogue turned out, they are both captivating and inspiring and I only hope that what you are doing for me, I could do for another. Keep your head to the sky.

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