Archive for January, 2009

January 30, 2009

heart </3

Back to the drawing board. I guess right? I mean…what the hell am I supposed to do now? I’m pissed cause I have to start ALL over again with getting to know a guy and adjusting to their habits and friends. A huge part of me says fuck that bullshit, I’m just gonna stay single for ever, but another HUGE part of me says that its just an experience that I have to go through to get to my ideal soulmate. 

It has been an amazing 2 1/2 months. With lots of love, care, experiences, and memories. However, a rough 2 1/2 months I must add. I can’t sleep. I can’t function…as much as I thought it would be hard…I didn’t think it was going to be this hard… 

Who said breaking up was easy? Well I haven’t been in a relationship like this in awhile and I’m sadden =/. But I know…I’ll get through it…I always do. 

I just seem so empty…I’ve given my all and shown it to this one particular guy, but he decided to take it for granted. Now that I decide to leave, he decides to realize all that I did when its all too late. How am I supposed to feel? How am I supposed to react? That shit don’t happen on a daily basis…I swear some shit never change.

Times like this make me go back to how I used to be…going from guy to guy…not really getting the full attention, but temporary feeling I get…that temporary feeling…

I’m hurt…

I’m lost…

I don’t understand why good people can’t find good people to stand by them…its always the difficult ones that come our way. I’m amazing. I’m worth your time. I will make you happy…

Can’t someone just see that? 

 

SIGH I’m done!!! =/ blahh =[

January 21, 2009

The Lifted Burden

As the days endured, however long it was, today finally came like a long awaited dream. Today, the burden has been lifted off my shoulders and I can financially hold my head up high. For many weeks now, ever since December, I have been working to pay off bills. Now, I can say that with a little help from financial aid, that I am able to feel at ease that my financial burdens are no longer burdens anymore. This time around I have a better grasp on what saving money really means and how my spendings do add up. 

Thats one of my resolutions this year, to better handle my money wisely and to save. Time and time again, I have felt that I was too gracious with spending money, but after realizing the damages it can cause…I have now better prepared myself. 

School is around the corner and I am anxiously awaiting what this semester has in store for me. I know there will be a lot of adjusting that I will need to do, but I know I have a better head on my shoulders this time around. 

Relationships with my friends have been constantly changing – but for the better. Every day and every week that passes, I am amazed of what remarkable people I am surrounded with – truly the best people I will ever meet and will NEED to meet. There comes a day when you just realize that you are the luckiest person in the world to have the friends that you have right now. Unexpected get togethers, one on ones, moments that will ever be treasured in our memories…these are the moments worth dying for. 

My popularity of youtube has amazed me since I never would have thought I would ever have an audience of 1000 +. If you’re one of my fans reading this…<3 you. 

Well my day has really started early and extreeeeeeemely tired =X. I’m happy though =]

January 16, 2009

Happy 2009

I cannot believe it, it is 2009 people! Happy belated New Years! =] So it seems that the last time I blogged on here was November. My gosh…what has the world come to? I guess I really was/am busy with life that it just got the best of me. Shrugs. Usually, I am still able to vent a lil here and there or just write my thoughts, but I guess…well even now…I’m just too caught up in life. 

The fall semester I had was probably the worst semester I’ve ever had to encounter in all my college career. I swear, once you get older and become a upper classmen…shit does not get any easier. Ahead of me are my classes in DAI and I’m both excited and scared. I don’t know what to expect and I don’t know where it will take me a few months from now. 

I can’t even predict my current job and where that will take me. Being suspended from Jamba, having Macys, going back to Jamba, then just dropping Macys…its just like WTF Joaquin. Its like one or the other. Macys is great and everything, but my manager is just soo…aloof that its turns me off to go back. However, I did see that I got a raise? Which is weird cause I swear I thought I was done with Macys. lol.

I’m slowly going back to blogging because it is therapeutic and well lets just say, I’ve been stressing out these couple months because I’ve been lacking it. Well…thats all for now…I guess I’ll blog soon =]