Archive for October 28th, 2008

October 28, 2008

fucking up fucking sucks

If I knew this is what fg would do to my schedule/life…I wouldn’t have done it. I would take it all back…I really would if I knew this is what would happen. I’m really fucking up in school…especially my design courses. YO these are my major courses…wtf…I don’t know what the hell I’m doing at state anymore…fuck…my priorities are whack…things have been processing in my mind: take a semester off, quit school, transfer to sj, move out, fuck up on school and try my best next semester….UGH…just fucking sucks…cause I feel like I left and I came back to a WHOLE shit load of mess. 

For starters…being project manager…I fucked up…I hella got demoted in my group today…cause I didnt do my job…FUCK…I look stupid in that group now cause fucking they think I dont got my shit straight…ughhh I GUESS I DONT! ugh…so yeah I got demoted and now I’m fucking something else…

I didn’t do my trend board that was due at 4pm today which I didnt know…so I’m like FUCK…I’ma do it tonight, but shit like ughhhh I’m pissed that I didnt get to do it…

I put in my two weeks for jamba juice today…sigh…damnit!!

I keep on sleeping…cause energy drinks dont help…

bakitwhy and francis’s recommendation are on my plate too…SIGH….


COMPLETELY miserable right now…I fucking suck at life =( I FUCKING suck at life…


on another note…


I’ve always loved Murs, but this song has just been on repeat for the past hour since I found it. Murs says it true, I love his lyrics. Its crazy how it makes sense and how it places perspective on things. 



Break Up – Murs 

I wanna hear your voice but I don’t want you to call
I wanna see you girl but not see you at all
I wanna make up but I still wanna fight
I wanted to break up but it just don’t feel right…

I hate you, you hate me
but still can’t escape we 
and all the bullshit we’ve been going through lately
hearbroke, lovestruck, tellin’ ya’ll it ain’t me
life without you girl, is something that I can’t see
I ain’t gon’ lie say I don’t get lonely
but it’s only so much I can kick it with the homeys
somebody told me you already moved on 
I broke up with you, you ain’t supposed to get your groove on!
Not now, at least wait a couple weeks
got me looking like a chump with my business in the streets
been a couple weeks but it feels like you’re still there no matter how clean I’m still finding your hair or some shit you forgot, or I’m standing in that spot, where you came so hard I didn’t think that you would stop!
But quiet as a step, I know you miss me just a little
washed the sheets when you left, but still smell you on my pillow and…
Everything I do it reminds me of you, and
Everything I see reminds me of we, and
Everytime I lust it reminds me of us, 
Girl I wanna stay together cuz I hate breaking up
You didn’t call me last night, what you trying to be, strong?
You’ll call yourself stupid when you finally hear this song ’cause I would’ve took you back
I was waiting to, in fact
all you had to do was hollar, girl
I would’ve just collapsed and 
fell into a trap and started to relapse
and yo ass never called so it just never happened.
Now I’m thinking Jasmine, Tanya, Sherane
some exes I could call that’ll probably ease the pain
I try ta follow through but I wind up calling you
hanging up before it ring, girl it’s really all on you
but you’d wanna get into it, make me mad, push my buttons
got us tripping off of little stuff that don’t mean nothin
I was sick of the suffering, the fighting, the fussing
what happened to the love and the late night discussions 
about children and family, the future, the planet
now it’s all over ’cause you couldn’t understand me…
Started missing you again last night –
’til I remembered all the reasons that yo ass loved to fight, it’s like dude-
I really wanted this to work, but you-
had to get your shit together first, 
but what’s worse
I really wanted you to stay but I needed you to leave ’cause we was fighting everyday
Alright, not everyday, I know that that’s a lie 
darn it, we was supposed to be companions
we was more like opponents
don’t this song make you wanna do it one more time?
Can I still be the only dude that’s on your mind?
I’m too proud to beg, but I’m hoping that you’re not
I would take you back quick girl, without a second thought
but I’m caught up in my pride
and I can’t make the call
I didn’t want ta break up, just a break, that’s all
it’s been a long time, I know I probably shouldn’t have left you
’cause you’re the only woman that I wanna sleep next to and…





Its moments like these that I’m like fuckk everyone