Archive for September 16th, 2008

September 16, 2008

Still on my budget hype

I found this comment very true after reading an update on Californias budget on SF Chronicle

In any other job, if you miss your deadline, you are either severely penalized or fired. These people repeatedly missed their deadline, why haven’t they been fired? Have we become so accustomed to the ineptitude of government that we just brush this off as, “oh well, that’s just how government works?” Demand that these people are removed from office and ban them from ever running again. They have proved, repeatedly, that they are not fit to work for the people of California if they can’t meet a deadline. As public servants, they need to be held to a higher standard than anyone else. It’s time for a referendum that will set a high work performance standard of legislators and other high profile government positions. If the top layer is inept and inefficient then everyone working under them are too. Government should be the most efficient machine because they are held accountable to the people. They are the servants of the people. They were not elected king to do whatever they please.
9/16/2008 7:21 AM PDT
Shittt…80 days and California still doesn’t have a budget…fuck this…I still don’t have my fin. aid. FUCKKKKK
September 16, 2008

bloggin like i used to

So I found some shit! lol hahah wtf? hahaha old blogs are fucking crazyyy. I motherfucking don’t write like this no more! LOL WTF I miss my old self! lol


“the trick is to fool everyone who sees. and if the trick is successful. then its magic.”

boy you thought u figured me out.
all inside and out.
thought you could fool me on the spot.
but let me tell you its gotta stop.

you got tricks up your sleeves.
keep playin these games with me.
telling me one thing when its another.
dont know where your at.
youve been busy with another?
i cant trust my heart anymore.
cause its been blinded by fools like you.
i cant trust my instincts anymore
cause they been fucked up too many times too.
and its been hurting me inside, but i keep letting it slide.
letting another day go by.
letting my heart slowly die.
and its breaking.

its fucked up how you keep me waiting
patiently waiting for your call
waiting to hear your voice
i hear nothing at all
its fucked up how you got me wrapped around your finger
i cant escape or breathe
its as though your trying to sufficate me
and it makes me just wanna leave
its fucked up how you keep lying to me
telling me you miss me
when you keep slippin
saying a different name
cause youve been creepin

is this what its come to?
cant even tell me straight to my face
i gotta find it on my own?
find out that this was a big mistake
and i cant believe i was lying to myself
trying to stay in this relationship.
i shoulda left you alone
long time ago
i shoulda left you



it comes without permission. it takes over. it rearranges ones life to fit theirs. its tempting, its decitful, it hurts, and feels good all at the same time. summerloving has a name and sometimes it doesn’t. summerloving gives a lot and takes back the same amount. no one really understands, but for a moment…for a moment…

it feels like the real thing.

its hard to say why i act and feel the way i do. to some extent its because i feel the need for attention and affection. i like feeling and hearing the things i dont get so often. and if by many, even better. even if its by flirting, the emotions i grab fills in what ive been lacking…its insecurities and impossible desires that get into my head. its irrational actions and irresponsibilty that gets me in trouble. the trouble with love is. it gets me every time. maybe i break under romance…anything that deals with it…breaks me…its amazing…what summerlove can bring…a shit load of opportunities right in front of me…but a matter of decision making left in my hands…forgive me if im greedy…but affection to me is all the same…but affection from a specific individual is different. im torn…im unsure…i dont understand why im always placed in this perdicament…and why its always within this season…summerloving…*rolls eyes*…breaks my heart into more than makes it whole…

i never understood why im always at the wrong place and time and miss my chance at love…