Archive for August, 2008

August 31, 2008

Republicans are rude

As much as I don’t want to be bias in this whole election between democrats and republicans, I think in recent events from what I have gathered, I must. The fact of the matter is, in my own opinion, republicans especially right now, have a dirty way of using propaganda to sway their message to americans. It boggles my mind how two parties who want the best for america, who want change, who want reform, who want the best for its people, have completely two different attitudes, ethics, and mind set in this upcoming election. More so the Republicans. Now I’m pretty sure not ALL Republicans agree or approve the message that McCain and his republican party preach, but nonetheless, it is down right RUDE from what I have seen. 

Take for instance the video above. The Republican student group at SFSU decided to make a mockery out of Obamas recent speech. Now I watched that speech on youtube and I must say I was very impressed and moved with what Obama has envisioned for this country, but if I were a DUMB and uneducated american (trust there are many), I would believe that video above to be true. Furthermore, take Obamas youtube versus McCains. Obama has several videos highlighting his speeches and his fellow democrats who endorse his campaign conversely McCains youtube page has a whole set of propaganda against Obama. 

Now just from that observation, one must note the kind of character each party showcases.

The Democrats who want to outreach to the everyday working class, to showcase the issues that the party would like to tackle, and to show the people that the democrats are working hard to make change possible in this years election. 


The Republicans who spend millions of dollars to create propaganda commercials, spending more money in businesses who are already well off, and ultimately leaving the working class to struggle. 

Now I know, I must do more research in what the Republicans do/do not stand for, but why should I when at first glance I wouldn’t want to be surrounded by that negativity and arrogance. Republicans to me remind me of those Caucasians in school who are the “jocks” or the “pretty cheerleaders” who feel that they can say or do anything that they please without reparations – basically the bullies at school. Wait a second, isn’t it funny how the WORLD feels like we have been more so the bully of all the other nations in the last 8 years? Mmmmm what an interesting parallel. It annoys the shit out of me.

In my opinion, Republicans are definitely not the kind of CHANGE I would like to see or we as America NEED right now. Republicans to me are folks who are living in the old fashion way, who are closed minded, immature, and who don’t believe in REAL change – rather believe that things right now are just O-K. I mean, take a look again at that video above! Basically, their tactics in teaching young Republicans who don’t know any better, is to show that being a DICK is the way to go to win the presidency. 

Thats what fellow republicans APPROVE. Thats what fellow republicans spend most of their time doing – creating a huge separation between the rich and the poor. Creating more HATE and DISCRIMINATION.

But…hey if I didn’t know any better I would say that the middle class of America makes a bulk of America and without US…the upper class of America would falter.

WAKE UP REPUBLICANS! Change hasn’t happened in the last 8 years, if anything you’ve made an ass out of you, me, and this beautiful country. 

If anyone who reads this agrees or disagrees, please make an educated and insightful stance. Do your research, keep up with todays news, VOTE in this years elections. I am proud to say that this will be my first time voting in an election and I am proud to stand by Obama in ensuring his candidacy for president. Like I said, research what you think you know and go from there. 

Overall, I wanted to just say – Republicans are RUDE…plain rude. 

Obama 08

The Change We Need

August 31, 2008


 So I figured I post some pictures on my wordpress to make it look more appealing to me and to my viewers (if I have any lol) Its nice to write rather than video. I swear, taking it back old school. Don’t get me wrong, vlogging is awesome, but the core of logging my life is better written instead. I also figured that I should do the “UPDATE” thing on wordpress like my videos to give it more consistency of sorts 😛 Anyway, I am on a hiatus from youtube, facebook, and myspace for the time being due to…well nothing really, I just need to focus and not have those site be a source of distractions. BLAH! But its only been a day =( haha whatever. 

So again, I updated my site with photos, so check out each link page I got to see some new photos. I think its supppper fun! =] haha. 

Speaking of fun, I had fun last night in Saratoga at Erics Bday party. SHOOT. It feels good having money, friends, and alcohol…can’t you tell from the picture to the left =] haha. I love it. I also love the fact that Cruzan and the sake I got was the perfect topping to my eventful night. 😛 haha. Sooo I vlogged last night about gay folks pretending to be straight when I know for damn well they ain’t haha. YA FEEL ME! Like real talk though…why they gotta front like I don’t know. Shoot…anyway, I had fun playing that “game” last night. I mean…I had to find out…My mission is like 75% accomplished haha. 

Sooo today I ended up being sooo productive that I cleaned a lot. I cleaned, did laundry, and well ORGANIZED my life so that I can function before the semester really picks up. I do this to keep me sane…ahhhh sanity is something that needs to be kept sacred. ahhh. I was also able to have dinner with JP and family. I hart both of em =] hehe. Speaking of family…my mom is voting for McCain!!! Shes a friggin democrat, but because theres a woman vp, shes voting otherwise! UGHHHH . In a way I feel that McCain got a woman vp is so he can get the women vote since he knows he aint going to get the popular vote for sure. I know now, that Obama is a for sure bet that America needs. If America fucks up again, I’m going to just live in the Philippines…foreal though. America better make the right choice and listen carefully to what both parties are saying. As far as I’m concerned Sarah is against gay marriages and McCains youtube is full of propaganda towards Obama. Its soo dumb because his campaign videos seems to just target Obama rather than PR for his own presidency. Its sooo dumb. UGHH. I’m excited for this election because I finally get to vote. I want to encourage folks to look into Obama and voting for him because he is the change America needs. TRUST in that. Anyway, my mom is cute =) haha I was like, “I’m sooo not talking to you for three months mom.” haha she didn’t care haha. 

And speaking of JP! I fucking love him! We got to spend the whole day together basically. He took me to this Burmese place which was bomb, we did laundry, and then bowled! AWWW eventful night? SI. Productive? SI! I love it! =] I love you JP. UGHH I hate bowling with him cause my self esteem goes down…then again I hate bowling in general. The fucking bowling ball rolled off my fingers and dropped on the floor. Basically, everything that a loser who sucks at bowling happened to me tonight. UGH…but it was fun nonetheless haha

Sigh…its early in the morning…I’ll finish this up later 😛

August 29, 2008

4am blah blah

I don’t know what made me feel like I need to go on some sort of hiatus from facebook, myspace, and youtube. I really have no idea, but I do feel like I’m lacking motivation on all three to update or whatever. I feel one reason might be school. Since school has started, I feel like the focus on that has shifted since I’m not in PACE anymore. It really does seem that not being in PACE gives me more freedom to focus and really excel in my studies now. Trust…something that I need to do. All my classes seem to be what I wished for – fun, exciting, and enjoyable to say the least. I feel like this semester can honestly give me a boost in my career and additionally give me a head towards graduating. 

A 4th year? A 4th year???? HUH? I can’t believe it. Its been that long already? It really did fly like nothing. I feel like I don’t have time for bullshit, making new friends, or doing what I used to because I’m a 4th year. Like I said, a shift of focus…oh yeah did I mention I did just turn 22? Things are shifting slowly, but for the good. I’m content with the friends I have. They are my rock and the folks who keep me sane. My living situation is getting better with everyone starting to realize their part in the apt. My finances seem to be good since fin aid kicked in. Still waiting on one more check though. Family is awesome along with religion. Where I am right now in life…I’m content and feeling like I am the luckiest guy in the world to have what I have. 

Recently, its been extremely hot in SF and I feel like that has been a reason for my mood. I feel good! The weekend up ahead is something I’m looking forward to. Having had the BEST WEEK EVER has drained me a bit, yet I feel like it was something I never would have thought I’d experience. IT WAS TRULY THE BEST WEEK I’ve ever had. Tonight, I decided to get wasted. lol…mission accomplished. First time I K.O’d in the living room. CRAZY. 

I’m good…I just need to take care of my life. I need to take care of me. I need to sleep.

August 26, 2008

Life on Pause…

Until my next blog and vlog, enjoy 

August 21, 2008


Because everything is happening this week, I feel soo exhausted and tired. BUT, it is honestly the best week ever! I haven’t even youtubed LOL or got back and replied to folks…I feel bad, but whatevs…by the way youtube is getting way outta hand to the point where I can’t respond to folks…=/ sorryy if you’re a fan reading this lol =/. Anyway, lets get it…

17 – It started off with Erwin coming up from San Diego. HOLLLAH! After Erwin went with JP and Alister to Japantown, we headed to Vangies surprise party. Right when we walked in…[ silence and stares from a crowd of high school folks ]. I hear in the background “SoReal Crew?” hahahahah and I was the first one they saw…Holler! hehe LOL jp. But Mark D had a feast ready for us. SHOOT I grubbed like a fatass. We then headed up stairs with our coronas LOL haha sooo high class.

We chilled for a good while and ate until we headed back down where we played a game. (By the way, I want a guy that looks like that guy in red! lol what a cutttiieee hahahahah STOP IT JAR! lol) Soon after, Mark D dad came to us and gave us a lesson on Pilipino alcohol…he then went on telling me to ask my dad if I knew about the alcohol he was drinking. LOL I was like in my head…mmmm I’ll try =/ hahah. It was all good though. Good family party and good time spending with friends. YAY! We then all headed home and I dropped them off and went to church. It was a good mass. The priest talked about God being the reason for everything we are and without him, we wouldn’t be. I was so emotional towards the end of church that I almost cried at church. Then at the end, we were extending our hands out to a mother and daughter who were leaving to live in Chicago and it got to me…I was thinking…damn God is good for what he does and God will do everything in his power to make sure that their family is guided by the Lord. It was a sweet goodbye that got me choked up. When mass ended, I decided to cry it out in my car =/ which was good. Phew…

18 – I had work at 5am in the friggin morning! UGH haha, butttt I had the best 5am shift in the world. It was chill and wasn’t too bad – real slow. We thought had an OSC, so Allie and I made that place sparkling (I found out the 2 days later that we didn’t have one ughhh). I thought to myself, damn I love cleaning haha. That place was CLEANNNN!!!! I got off work at like 9:30 – took a nap and woke up and did a design for Friendship Games. Pretty much did that the whole day until Alister and I went and took Erwin to Boba. Ster got me Boba which was nice =]. We then headed over and played games on this touch screen console (which looks like it was from the 90s but whateves) . Erwin was playing this Q&A game and for some reason I knew most of the answers. Lucky guesses for me, but it was weird haha. I guess I’m good at guessing LOL. Erwin won and decided that he was APNOYBEATY LOL hahaha you had to be there hahaha. Then we headed home and all I could remember from this day was Carl, Erwin, and I playing fucking HALO! HALO!!! Dude I was like fucking winning for the longest time, I was like SHOOOT! hahah ERWIN talks a lot of shit! lol…then again so do I haha.

19 – I woke up real early for some damn reason to check my account and to my surprise, I did not only get my jamba check, but part of my financial aid! WHAAAAAAA lol the first thing I did was pay for bills! lol after paying a couple of hundred for bills I was feeling a whole lot better. Since these bills have been the death of me the WHOLE summer. I was like phew. I then continued to buy my contacts and pay part of my credit card. heheh lets just say, I was on cloud 9 at 8am in the morning. I then proceeded to do laundry that morning since I wasn’t able to since I had no money to do it and an oil change that I had been needing since May. Ryan, Erwin, and I went to Lucky chances and then … we were in the car when Ryan spots my cigarets and then throws em outta my car…ughhhhhhhhh I don’t need em anyway, but fuck!!! UGH! We stopped at Best Buy where I proceeded to find a camcorder…which I didn’t end up getting, but instead a new camera which I’ve been needing! SHIT is crazy haha saw Mike =] Holla cutieeee! heheh I soon had work which was whatever, but I wanted to get off right quick, but WHATEVER! Didn’t happen. After work, Ster, Erwin, JP, Vince, and I went to happy hr at Elephant Bar…it was aighhhttt, I didn’t care…I finally had money! HAHHAA. After Erwin and I played Halo…where he continued to diss me haha BITCH. Later that night, JP, Erwin, and I went back to MV. I dropped them off at JPs house and I went to mine. 

I LOVE MY MOM! AWWWWW she had KFC ready for me hahah how she know? ahhha we talked and caught up which is always good. I was able to kinda catch up with my sister too. AWWW =]. I told my mom I wanted a ring for my finger. And she goes and bust out her collection. HER collection and hands some rings over to me haha I’m like mom these are for girls and shes all guys wear them LOL ohhh man! haha same with the earrings. haha they literally were lemon drop earrings. haha. I spent a good time with them – I also left 100 for my sister to share with my mom in her bag 😀 hehe secret! hehe I then went home and knocked the fuck out!!!!

20 – Morning and MARY WAS ON MY BED! lol haha oh girlfriend =] lil snuggle bun! haha for some reason I just keep on waking up hella early! ugh anyway, Terri, Ryan, Erwin, Mary, and I already had a full day ahead of us. Ryan added on by saying we should go to MV with him to eat all you can eat sushi! WTF haha I KNOW! haha. We all got ready and went for a ride to go to tuti melon since it was still breakfast…on the way we were signing hairspray songs! I LOVE HAIRSPRAY! HAHAH it is one heck of a soundtrack. We then find out its closed. UGHHHHH so we basically just went for a joy ride haha. ughh jerks…anyway, we then got ready for MV. Went towards the SUN and FUCKK…it was HOT!!! 


WAIT BRB…lol this is soo long…lol

August 19, 2008

Things are finally OK

So I starved myself last night literally because I had no food or no way of getting food…well I did, but I was just being picky. Anyway, I was waiting for my Jamba Juice check last night and I woke up this morning to a BIG surprise. Not only did I get my Jamba Juice check, but I got part…yes only PART, of my financial aid! OHHH WEE!!! =] I’m so excited because I didn’t expect it and its definitely a blessing right now…

So what did I end up doing right when I saw that? SPEND! LMAO haha, but I spent it off on literally paying for my phone bill (which got disconnected yesterday), my parking ticket (which is 245 or so, but I decided to pay only 100), my credit card (which is like 600, but I paid 100 so I wouldn’t keep getting charged over), and bought contacts (150). hahah OHHH man, now I just need to get a oil change, gas, and food (100 +) HAHAHAH. OH MAN! Today is gonna be great, happy hour. 

I gotta just remind myself to be coo with my life and that this money is supposed to go to school lol. BUT whatever, I finally get to do laundry and ultimately be HAPPY AGAIN! LMAO HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I told myself that this was going to be the best week ever…boy was I not lying! =] 

YEEEE lets get it today.

August 18, 2008


(Above: “Youth Rises” featured on

This was definitely one of those videos that gave me more affirmation that what I do in PACE, BakitWhy, or even educating folks about certain things really do matter in the long run. More importantly, what I have done with PACE and BakitWhy for our community really does help expose our youth to think about certain topics that they probably would have never thought about. 

If Pilipino college students like myself continue to fight for full equity, try to host high school conferences for the young Pilipino youth, exposes Pilipinos to the richness and history that Pilipinos have in SF, and in the end we find out that our youth didn’t really care about any of those topics/issues…then what was the point? What was all that hard work for? Like Joana said, we have to think Globally and realize we all affect one another. The point is – as young adults in society, it is our responsibility to make sure we correct histories past by exposes them to our youth.

As I grow older and grow out of this college scene, I know I will continue spreading awareness about certain things, but I know at the same time that I will have to handle my own life and what I’ll have to deal with. Meaning that the activism I once had wouldn’t be as strong, leaving me to say that it is the youth, the younger generations job to take on what we have struggled and fought for for many years.

If no one fights for what we believe in, then the fight itself is already lost. 

I believe this is the reason why I continue to raise awareness of certain things – certain topics to folks on my youtube and through Its that knowledge that keeps our history and culture alive. It is a responsibility that I still have – THAT THING

“Knowledge is power, but if we don’t know our own history we don’t truly know ourselves.”

August 18, 2008

Most def…not

Most definitely loved opening today at 5:30am. I really did, no joke. I guess early this morning I had a rush to just work and work. I guess I got mine when today we found out that we were going to have our OSC. So cleaning every part of the store was a must. It was slow too, so thank god. There was a flood in the walk in haha. I opened it and was all…”Uh oh…Allie…” haha fun times. OOO and we started our shift with Chris Brown…soo come on who wouldn’t be excited. Most definitely! 

Ugh…I keep checking my account ever so often to see if theres money, but its the same old 0.00 HAHA. ughhh I can’t wait to get paid tomorrow and get fin. aid soon. A brother  needs a hook up right quick. Real talk. Money makes me happy, but right now…I can live a few days without it…most definitely not after the 22nd! UGH. Real friggin talk. I can’t wait to splurge on myself lol haha sounds so xxx. Most definitely. 

Soooo I’ve been getting this comment lately, 

“AWW you look like MITCH! from Supreme Soul – NOT!. uhhhh wait what? I wouldn’t say so, but come to think of it…”HE LOOKS LIKE ME!!!!” wth =_= haha the difference with us is, isn’t he short? mmm I can’t dance. He’s a cutie lol. He probably isn’t gay! LMAO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH *rolls on the floor laughing* 

OH MAN, I can’t believe this is it…last week of summer…ew freshmans! haha jp =]

Today is cleaning day at 11k. UGHH lol most definitely not -_-

August 17, 2008

Running, running…as fast as I can…

I should be sleeping right now since I have work in a few hours…literally, but I have too much on my mind and I kind of spent some time doing some youtube stuff (lol). So today in church was rough for me because after, I broke down for a bit. Why? I was reflecting on the summer and I kept on saying to myself, I really couldn’t have done it without the Lord and the funny thing is the homely was about the Lord makes everything possible. I just cried in my car just in disbelief in how I made it this far. Its amazing…

This week starts…*deep breath*

August 17, 2008

Never had one of those…

I never had a birthday dinner with my friends. Not even in high school and most definitely not even when I turned 21!!! I guess it explains a lot about how I don’t care so much about a petty day such as my birthday, BUT all of that is going to change this year. Turning 22 is the new 21 for me. I’m going to try my best to make up for what I never had prior to 22. I think I deserve it. So I found a place to host a dinner at, but the thing is…its crazy how many folks I want to invite, but the fact that some restaurants don’t sit big groups…Why not Bucca, why not Cheese Cake? Well my friends and I have all been there, I wanted to try something different and somewhere we’re all not used to going. 😀 ICE CREAM after 😀 yay. Now as far as other than a dinner…well school is already starting and theres little room to add a party or whatever, but maybe a grown up happy hour will suffice. mmmm 😀 yay. Like I said this is going to be the best week ever!!! haha. I mean the day of my birthday will be spent in SoCal! 😀 COMMON NOW! hahah. SWEET. 

Anyway, I’m feeling DWELE. Hes awesome beans 😀

August 17, 2008

I couldn’t have said it any better…

What a great start to an amazing end the last days of summer. REAL talk. I cannot express what a great kick off I’ve had thus far. 

So, whats so good about the week of the 17-24?

17 – Vangies surprise party / Church / Finds out I got a shout out by Hopie =] (http://www. myspace. com/hopiespitshard) / Erwin Mendoza comesssss 😀 howlah 
19 – I get paid
20 – Frandels 22nd Birthday 😀 
21 – Terris 21st Birthday 😀 / Nellas 21st Birthday / Welcome Day performance at SFSU / Fin Aid
22 – Fin Aid / Happy HR / 11k party?
23 – Vince, Mary, Alister, and I go down to SoCal for BakitWhy BBQ in Bolsa Chica State Beach / Happy 22nd Birthday to me / hang out with SoCal heads =] / go to SD after 
24 – Hang in SD and go back to the bay to start the first week of school

I just can’t imagine the other surprises thats bound to come outta this week. I don’t think I’ve ever been this ecstatic about a week…maybe because this week is soo good? haha probably.

But real talk, the only reason why I’m doing this blog at 2:40am is because I had a wonderful day in UC. I spent it with good folks like Tin, Jen, Jello, JP, Alister, Mary, and Hazel came by later too. It was a spontaneous trip for me because I didn’t have this trip in mind. We had KFC, watched the Olympics, and ended the night with a fantastic view of the bay. I ❤ the bay and my wonderful homies. Real talk, it was one of those moments where I felt things just fell into place and things in my life are pretty good. Can’t take that kinda feeling away, ya know? I guess its cause I realized AGAIN, what an amazing week I’m going to have. 

It started off slow this morning, cause Friday really bummed me out. So I ended up going to work with Mary and catching up with her and having a venting sessions. You know when you have a good day when you’re able to vent a lot of random shit. We watched Gabe Bondoc like a billion times and talked about how he might be going to SFSU. haha oh man. We also talked about life in general…but overall a mix of a lot of shit on our mind. I was able to even do a video while I was there. Candy, eating subway, and a good talk equals a very good fucking day! 

So I want to just switch gears and just say that the Lord is good. You know, its been a rough couple of months financially for me – and when people say money don’t make you happy – uhh they lied. Money helps you function and without it you are unhappy. haha, but today proves that the Lord got my back. Even with my overdraft that I currently have which is 100 + I was able to get tips on Friday which led me to have some cash for the weekend before I get paid on Tuesday which makes me thankful that God is looking out for me cause I really thought I was gonna starve this weekend. To top that, I was able to get help for JP with gas which will def. last me till Tuesday. So as far as the Lord on my side, he definitely is. Its crazy how things just fall into place when you realize the Lord is there with you from the very get. I believe that without faith in him, your life is nothing but shit. I believe I had a great time today because God gave me the spirit, friends, and the love to experience all that with the folks I truly care for. Its amazing. God is good. GOD is so good. 

SIGH. I’ll leave it at that =] 

August 15, 2008

The Bridges

The next big thing! I love this song! AHH

August 15, 2008

Feel Good Music

So I’ve been knowing of Dwele, but I guess I never really took the chance to hear him out. So now that I have, ahhhhh I’m on his hype right now. I love his beats and the way his music makes you feel. Right now on rotation is “Body Rock”. OoOo weee. Talk about hit bangin! OOo man…I think his music is perfect for SF, just cause its one of those artist you listen to on a rainy day or a foggy day. haha well at least for me. 

So I have no work these next two days which is awesome cause I can chill the fuck out. Finally! I was on the verge of quitting two days ago, but my manger talked to me and was like wtf is wrong with your attitude. haha literally. So I told her how I felt and I guess things were put into perspective. Jamba Juice is an easy job and well I shouldn’t quit now…been here for 10 months…shit. But yeah made me think about my past jobs and how I always had to find something wrong with it in the long run. I was cool with Macys until my new manger, after having 3 in the past months, was getting on my case. She never understood or took the time to understand me like my current manager. I guess thats the difference in me staying and not, if my manger cares to have me. So for now, I’m koo. PLUS…I work with food, sooo it helps me survive. HAHA. 

So I was able to go with Mary, Vince, and Mark to Marys casting call last night. It was nice and different. Definitely 21+. Its crazy because its not until recently have I really been taking advantage of this 21+ thing. Weird…I had a whole year to really do it, but not until recently haha. Which brings me to think about my birthday next week. AHHHHHH no friggin way? Is it really here? haha wow…I’m soo…shocked? It came by so fast. On a different note, I figured this summer would bring love or something like the summers before…but this one definitely did not do any justice for me. I guess that just goes to show growing up is a struggle and finding your mate is even more of an up hill battle. 

😛 I like my new layout =]

August 14, 2008

Falling in love…or something like that

I haven’t been there in a long long time. I remember when falling in love for me was so easy because I felt like love was seemingly around me. Maybe its just I was too quick to be infatuated with the guys I liked…Oh infatuation…how much trouble have you gotten me into. I honestly haven’t felt in love in quite some time and I feel like I’ve lost that spark to knowing or clearly seeing love before my eyes. Am I blind? Am I not looking in the right places? Clearly…love has been in absence. 

Its easy for me to get into things such as “talking” to people I would hopefully want to “fall in love with”. It’s so easy in the beginning, but as time goes on it just gets more tough and more complicated. I’ve never been in a long relationship. The longest I’ve been in would probably be three months or so…the longest I’ve talked to a person would probably be six months or so. So I’ve had experience, but haven’t just had that “relationship status” that I hear so often. 

I vlogged about it before, but I said I think every guy is gay. haha. Which I stand firm by. I know I’m good looking, so I know even straight guys would turn gay for me =] haha. BUT WHY DON’T YAL SAY SOMETHING TO ME THEN!?!? haha I like that undercover factor in a guy. The “you would never guessed I was gay” factor. It gets me all the time, but I have never met a guy whos like that and is open about it. Shrugs. Its like that song “When will it be me?” When will I find that guy who will sweep me off my feet or vice versa – speaking of which, I think I’ve forgotten how to be genuinely sweet. I guess because I’ve been there and done that I expect bad shit to happen that being sweet is the last thing on my mind…

Does that explain me being so closed and reserved at times. Hard to get to know? I’ve been called that. Hard to get. And I really don’t care cause if a nigga wants to get to know me real bad, he’ll stick around to find that I’m not that hard to get to know. But usually I brush those niggas off and don’t realize that sometimes those folks have been around so long that I completely forget that they want to get at me. haha. 

Two nights ago, I was drunk and I was not a happy drunk. For the first time in almost a year, I cried while I was drunk…and this wasn’t just tears, this was like snot and everything. It was real bad, but I remember crying for a guy. A guy who is completely stupid for not know what he wants, not wanting me, and not even meeting me half way. It sucks because when a person is on someones jock, they could care less of other niggas trying to get at them. Mary said it best when she said, “Who wouldn’t want us.” Really though, my group of friends are in college doing big things and have skills unlike any other “normal” average person…yet a good amount of us are single…WHAT IS WRONG WITH US??? Are we not good enough? Do we not fit the standards? What? Tell me! TELL ME, so I can breathe a lil better each day. 

I fantasize having a guy similar to Gabe Bondoc. A very cute, sweet, kind, and funny guy. A package deal..if he sings…that even adds more to the appeal. 

haha I was thinking to myself, you know there are guys where you can picture them naked and stuff and there are those guys where you can’t even imagine. Well I said to myself, Gabe is one of those who I can’t imagine. hahaha. I dunno. What gay guy wouldn’t want a Gabe? Shit…any gay guy would die for one. 

But, for the most part…a good number of us just fall for the wrong person, meet mr right at the wrong time, etc. Factors play into making our lives miserably single. But for me…my last REAL relationship I still would say was 2005. =P shrugs…falling in love seems too much of an effort to invest my time in.

August 14, 2008

Financial Bullshit Along With Other Shit…

So along with many financial aid participants, we’re awaiting disbursement of our money. Unfortunately, this shit comes up when I checked my financial statement online:


Delay State Aid Disbursement For Fall 2008

We are unable to disburse the following funds until the California State budget is passed:

  • State University grant, EOP grant and CAL grants.
  • These funds will be disbursed to eligible students at a later date. Registration fees will continue to be deferred and your enrollment will not be affected.


    Okay what the bullshit? This happened last year too, I don’t understand why its so hard to figure out the budget or if it is, why it should even affect assisting students in their education. I know I’m sounding naive and there are probably good reasons to what’s going on, but really though. Its been how long since they had their last session and honestly they couldn’t think of one before August rolled through? REALLY THOUGH

    It just frustrates me how sometimes I feel that education in California is the last thing on the Governors and his staffs mind. California boats in having the best and biggest public institution in the world, yet we can’t adequately meet deadlines so that folks who are waiting on their money get what they need before school. Furthermore, I think its bullshit how financial aid comes 10 days before school starts, I would think it should be a little more than that just cause if you’re a 4th year like me paying hella bills like rent, you need that money asap. I just think this system sucks and it ain’t going to change. UGH…I need that paper. 

    On another note, I just read about an angry Swede who didn’t capture gold and disrespectfully threw his bronze medal down. OKAY, first off, how many folks get to go to the olympics? Second, how many even get to the top 3? Man, talk about team player? I mean shit you’re a roll model for young athletes and doing that just sends a message, “HEY if you don’t win gold, quit whatever profession you’re in cause its not worth it.” YEAH, that fool says hes quitting. THE FUCK is that?

    I hate the message he put out. Also, the stupid basketball team from Spain with their mock picture of the Chinese. HONESTLY, you didn’t think for one minute that it would come off offensive? I don’t believe that excuse…HELLO thats racist! ugh…Anyway, the olympics are crazy especially Mr. Phelps…but ew the way he talks :X hahah I can’t stand it HAHA.

    August 14, 2008

    For public viewing

    ive had this wordpress for quite some time now and ive been keeping it on the dl. but most recently, i decided to add different pages to my wordpress, but i figure it made no sense if i was the only one that was able to see it. so i guess this is the big unveil of my life, thoughts, and rants. 

    i used to have xanga (who didn’t) and i used to write a lot about how i felt and go in depth in my life by self analyzing myself. id get a few comments here and there, but as i grew up i moved to other things…like myspace and now youtube. i have a great fan base on youtube, which is pretty amazing considering that a few months ago i was …nobody, but at least now theres a good chunk of folks watching me…

    now, possibly reading. i guess i wanted to give a personal insight to my viewers and friends on how i think and most definitely how i feel about life in general. i believe that how i am on video, in person, is so different from how i write. even i surprise myself after reading the stuff i write. believe it or not, i love writing more than i love making videos. writing has always been a passion of mine ever since high school. i used to write poetry constantly and i used to write mini stories. i guess as you grow up, i realized that you don’t have that luxury to spend just doing leisurely things like write. but, i feel that i must bring that aspect back in my life. i find it therapeutic and gives some order in my life. like i always tell folks, writing helps organize your emotions, so do it because it will help! 

    i think writing says a lot about me. especially how and what i write. the complexity that comes in what i choose to write describes a lot about who joaquin is…im not an easy person to know. trust. these are raw thoughts…for public viewing.