realization

after todays eths studies class, i realized that i have hella shit to do before thursday. since i didnt bother to do the assignment nor readings for that class, im in a way screwed, but i know i can pull it off. i always do anyway. its just the lack of motivation i have for school is really not going away. usually at this time i would be so gungho on doing my work. dont get me wrong, i really am excited to do the papers i need to for my classes, its just theres a lack of drive on my part. i dont get it and i dont understand why ive been feeling this way. last night didnt help either. debates lasted 6 1/2 hours and honestly…was it worth sacrificing my sleep or doing a paper? no it really wasnt. made me realize that yes, i am done with core and fuck that bullshit cause i aint gone have it no more. finally sundays are free and for the most part obligations free too. sigh…i really feel that next year debates should be held either on a saturday or at a time where members can attend and not sacrifice school or sleep because of it. plus it doesnt really promote academic excellence if we as pace say we strive to promote that. ha ha. 

on a different note, i went back home for mothers day and i think it was a good decision. spending time with my mom and fam was cool, even though we didnt do anything. i just think having that space to just be around family was the most important part. my mom basically was wanting me to come home and she even said “please and thank you” to me. haha friggin a. i also was able to attend church after a long absence from it…however, i was dozing off because the sermon was real bland and boring. sigh…but yeah family is good and it looks like my family is starting to get back on its feet with my brother working now. sigh work…

i need to start working more hours, but hours that i can handle on top of walking to and from work. sigh…shits not crackin though…but i gotta hussle right…rent, car, bills…all on my own with that. it sucks too cause i have so many debts to pay that i just want to be like …yo chill until fall aight…i gotchu ma nig. lol haha

this apt man…sitting in the living room looking at this apt…its crazy…its been almost a year since i moved in…man…i still cant believe it…im happy where i am. haha.

schools almost over…wish me luck…i will be taking a quick nap. adios! =] 


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