PCN aftermath

I’m so glad that PCN is finally over. This time around, I think PCN fucked me over. lol real talk. I just haven’t been up to par with my studies whatsoever and I think I’m not going to get the decent grades I usually get despite PCN. Something about it this year just made me just say fuck life and fuck the world. However, I had a wonderful time and have wonderful memories to look back to. After all said and done, PCN this year was amazing and worth my time. I got to act – a bigger role than previous PCNS, dance – ngedek fool lol, and be a part of an amazing innersanctum/core. Held it down yal! 

My term is almost ending if not already and I can’t wait! Honestly, PACE has just taken a big chunk of my academics and have set me back. I mean, I can still be an asset despite not having the title. Besides, I think we have a good bunch of leaders to lead PACE into the next year. I’ll be there no doubt, but I just need to step back and get on with my life…seriously. I mean, I’m so excited for next years classes because I know I wont have to rely on meetings on sunday or general meetings or…any PACE events that I feel obligated to go and help organize. gahhhh I’ve done my part and I’m proud of what I’ve contributed…

Now if I just put that same effort into my studies…I probably would have been able to graduate on time =P BOOO fuckinghoo! ugh…On a different note, money is tight right now and because I haven’t been working a lot due to PCN and school, its been real hard on me, living pay check to pay check. It sucks when you see the rest of your friends have it easy…when you know damn well you’re not on the same boat. sucks too when I don’t currently have a car to get myself to work and have to ask my friends if I can use their car or if they can drop me off…sigh…on top of that my other laptop aint working…on top of that I lost my casio camera -_- ugh…I didn’t like that camera anyway LOL hahah but yeah…the aftermaths of PCN is catching up to me…I have school to worry about, along with CORE, along with retreat and work…shit…

I’ll be fine I know that for sure, but I just wish that there was some heaven sent help…some miracle…something amazing that comes my way…then again I can’t expect that when I haven’t been praying or being a model christian =/ blah. haha…

On another note, I’ve been feeling lonely…I think its because I haven’t had that touch in awhile. Haven’t messed around in awhile…thanks PCN lol =], but I dunno…its like an addiction…when you haven’t done something in awhile…you kind of have a relapse…you know? Sigh…I just need that guy to really be there and be THERE for me. FUCK…what I gotta do nigga hahah

Anyway, I should get to studying…life is getting the best of me 😛 anyway ❤ Some other time

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