Theres a reason for everything…

Thats how I see it, a reason for everything. There’s a reason why I’m still up at 3:30 in the morning, why I haven’t submitted my DAI final paper summary, and why I’ve created this blog on wordpress. I think one main reason is I like the design layouts for this site, it’s something I’ve always been going for…and to add its kind of sophisticated haha. I haven’t blogged in what…months…ah…maybe weeks, but still I used to blog a lot. However, life has just gotten the best of me and I’ve become absent in my own words and thoughts. I think another reason why is because of youtube. That site has become the death of me. Anyway, life right now is…complicated. I don’t know where to begin.

I’m fucking up in school – way worse than I have ever imagined…two classes this semester? Two actual classes…man and I’m barely making the grade on those. To add, PCN season has been going on and the amount of practices and stress its brought into my life has just been unpleasant. But the biggest worry that has plagued me is my financial situation. After spending money on numerous things and occasions, I have come down to living my weeks from pay check to pay check. I have bills and rent to look out for…but I don’t work as often to pay them off until PCN is over. Sigh…I don’t know how I’m going to get through these next weeks. 

I miss blogging about my life. I miss not having to sugar coat what I feel and not having to be judged on what I say or how I’m saying it…thats where youtube comes in. haha. I think I’ve come a long way from freshman year to where I am today. Like always, I must say I have grown a lot. I feel like I have a hold of what I want in life and what I really need. I’m done done…trying to find MR. RIGHT trying to fit in my MR. BUSY lifestyle. I’m getting the body that I want…slowly, but surely. And my friends…<3 thats all I can say. I’m lacking my spiritual drive and motivation though. I’ve been needing that lately. What my mom said to me has gotten to me recently, “What you have, God can easily take away.” Man…my mom is amazing haha. It’s true though…

You know…I shall continue my thoughts at a later time. I think I feel like I need to just rest. Long day ahead of me =P

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